What I learned from Derrick Rose

By Jody McPhearson

An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

 

                             



For those of you who have no idea who Derrick Rose is, he is best known by his job. He is the starting point guard for the Chicago Bulls. In fact he is a bona fide NBA superstar. But that is not who he is.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Well, Derrick Rose has shown himself to be a pretty quiet and private individual. He does not really enjoy the spotlight.

Here is a lesson learned from my mother. Adversity will reveal who a person truly is.

This past year, Derrick Rose has had to undergo a great deal of adversity during the season with nagging injuries to himself and teammates.  But that was just the beginning of his adversity. He had a season ending and career threatening injury. All in the public spotlight!

Now that brings us to the point of it all. Derrick Rose has taught and is teaching me many things while I am watching and reading about him.

During his first meeting with Adidas, his shoe sponsor, the executives from Adidas asked him what he wanted to accomplish his rookie year. Do you know what he said? He said, "I Wanna make My Mom Happy and My City Proud."  What if more professional athletes lived with this focus? What if celebrities had this in mind as they made choices? What if this was the mantra of more teens?

Maybe we can't do anything about professional athletes or celebrities, but we sure can do something about teens!

I learned from just that quote that Derrick Rose loves his mother, and his City! Chicago is a city that saw a record numbers of murders this past summer. It is also a city that had an ugly teacher's strike this summer. He loves a flawed city!
 

So, there is another lesson learned from Derrick Rose. It is okay to love someplace and someone that is not perfect. That kind of love will motivate you to help it or them get better.

Let me share with you what sparked this post. I read an ESPN article about Derrick Rose that poised this question. What can one man do about deep-seated social ills like poverty and violence? Read it here

 

If I have learned anything from Derrick Rose this summer, it is this. One man/woman/teen can do a lot! Especially if that person is willing to share their story of overcoming and persevering. I have learned that Derrick Rose has become a symbol of hope for his mother, his family, his friends, thousands of teens, and his entire community.

This summer, four groups of rival gangs, church leaders and a few NBA players got together for a game of basketball in an attempt to find a solution to the violence in the city. Derrick Rose came together with St. Sabina’s Father Michael Pfleger for the “Balling for Peace” tournament. After the tournament, every player got a job. St. Sabina partnered with businesses in the community to make sure that players were rewarded with employment for their peace pledge. Gang members traded their guns for basketballs. Some gang members were quoted as saying, “Opportunity and seeing that someone cares” are what’s needed to make a change.

I have learned that Derrick Rose is not afraid to show just how much he cares.

When presented with his new Adidas basketball shoe and the chance to talk about how special he legitimately is, Derrick Rose chose to show real human emotion and thank God and his family and the people who believe in him for their support and inspiration.
 

I have learned that Derrick Rose has an astounding work ethic, that he is humble beyond belief,(especially for a generation that most label as selfish and self-centered), and that he is fully aware that there is more to it all than just worrying about Derrick.

I know that I am usually speaking about teens, and the example that I am using is NBA superstar, Derrick Rose, but let's not forget, Derrick is only 24! He was, not so longer ago, just a teen from the very city that he now inspires. All because there were those adults, friends, and siblings who were invested in his life, that gave him hope.

Derrick thanks for the lessons! May we each take it upon ourselves to be the hope for our mothers, family, friends, teens, and our community!
 

                                    

 

 

 



THE BULLIES WHO LOST

                                      
By Travis Hardin
Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

                                       
 

No matter how (un)popular you were in high school, Whitney Kropp’s story hits home.

Imagine this: she’s sitting in math class as the homecoming court is announced over the PA system. She’s surprised – and thrilled - when she hears her name in the homecoming line up.

"She's just sweet. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body," Whitney’s mom, Bernice Kropp, told The Detroit News (as reported in a wonderful article, “Town turns tables on school prank”).

But the surprise quickly turned into a nightmare: it turns out that Whitney was picked as a joke. The 16-year-old found out, via Facebook and word of mouth, that “popular” kids put her name in the running as a prank. Hysterical: an unpopular girl in the homecoming court! Right?

Wrong. But what makes this act of bullying different is that it wasn’t hushed up or ignored. Covering up incidents of bullying ostensibly protects the victim, but it can also send the message that the bullying target is somehow at fault; it also lets the bullies off the hook. But that’s not what happened in this case. Instead, Whitney’s sister told her friends, who told their parents, who told their friends, The Detroit News reported.

Word spread and people rallied around Whitney in support. Someone created a Facebook page in support of Whitney, and it has more likes than the rural Michigan town has residents. Local businesses rallied around the teen, donating her dress, shoes, jewelry, hair styling and makeup. The 16-year-old was escorted by her father and grandfather to the field, where she confidently took her place in the Ogemaw Heights High School homecoming court. Students on the opposing team cheered Kropp on with banners.

The overwhelming support is heartwarming, and the outright rejection of 1980s John Hughes-esque high school meanness is inspiring. I love how this town has turned the tables on these small-minded bullies; this kind of community support is what could finally put an end to bullying once and for all.

Do you think this could happen in your city? In order to assist against bullying efforts in your city, speak up and encourage ALL youth. It doesn’t hurt to share your stories from when you were a teenager. The time is now to be Honest, Open and Transparent.

Pay it forward

DO YOU KNOW THE LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A CHILD PROSTITUTE?

By Jody McPhearson

Telling Teens They Matter

 

Look at me now, look at me now      I'm getting traded
Look at me now, Look at me now     every day I have to fake it
Look at me now, Look at me now     I am a sex slave
Look at me now, Look at me now     I long for an early grave
Look at me now, Look at me now     can anyone see my face
Look at me now, Look at me now     my memory is being erased
Look at me now, Look at me now     I’m having trouble sleeping
Look at me now, Look at me now     I can always hear them creeping
Look at me now, Look at me now     I’m trapped with nowhere to run
Look at me now, Look at me now     my homecoming days are done
Look at me now, Look at me now     why can’t you hear my screams
Look at me now, Look at me now     do you not know I had dreams
Look at me now, Look at me now     because you’re so appalled by slavery
Look at me now, Look at me now     it’s ironic that you won’t even look at me

Authorities conservatively estimate there are at least 250,000 teen sex-trafficking victims in the U.S. at any one time.

"Victims of human trafficking pay a horrible price. Psychological and physical harm, including disease and stunted growth, often have permanent effects. In many cases the exploitation of trafficking victims is progressive: a child trafficked into one form of labor may be further abused in another. It is a brutal reality of the modern-day slave trade that its victims are frequently bought and sold many times over-often sold initially by family members" (Trafficking in Persons Report, U.S. Department of State, 2006).

By the way, here is the answer to the original question:

LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A CHILD PROSTITUTE .....7 YEARS

Unconditional Movie

A Call To Action

By: Jody McPhearson

I wanted to personally let you know that The Re-De-Fined Project has entered into a national partnership with the filmmakers of the movie Unconditional. Unconditional is an inspiring movie that raises awareness of ministry with “at risk” youth and moves its viewers to action in their community. Unconditional is a tool that can highlight the work of The Re-De-Fined Project and engage new funding and resources in our community.

MOVIE SYNOPSIS: Samantha Crawford (Lynn Collins - X-Men Wolverine & John Carter), an acclaimed children's book author, went from a woman of faith to a woman in despair when her husband was killed in a senseless act of violence. With no leads and no hope, Sam's moments from taking her own life when God's providence intervenes, uniting her with an old childhood friend, Joe Bradford (Michael Ealy - Barbershop & Think Like A Man).

Dying of kidney disease, Joe spends his last days serving fatherless children in an under-resourced community. Observing "Papa Joe's" tireless love for his "kids", Sam begins to find new purpose, but has difficulty letting go. The innocence of a child competes with the lure of revenge and answers. When Sam finally learns about her husband's last moments her life and others are never the same.

CALL TO ACTION:
UNCONDITIONAL is the first feature film from Harbinger Media Partners, which creates and produces high-quality theatrical films to inspire moviegoers to pursue God and serve others.

Partnering with scores of ministries and non-profit organizations around the country like the one run by the real-life Papa Joe Bradford, UNCONDITIONAL is encouraging people to ACT on the needs in their communities. Learn more about ACT. http://unconditionalthemovie.com/act

Unconditional inspires its viewers and calls them to action in their community by partnering with local organizations such as The Re-De-Fined Project. We are currently the only national partner in the state of Arizona.

The filmmaker’s motivation for making this movie was to motivate people to ACT! Their strategy is to partner with local ministries who will facilitate their viewers in giving, volunteering, and partnering.

HOW YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD:

As a national partner, the movie will advocate for The Re-De-Fined Project cause and connect Unconditional viewers with our work.

We invite you to help spread the word about Unconditional in your community by sharing this message to as many people as you know and inviting them to visit the website http://www.unconditionalthemovie.com and to follow Unconditional on Facebook, Twitter, and share the trailer.

Jody McPhearson
Founder/President
The Re-De-Fined Project
Hire Jody McPhearson to speak to your organization, school, or group.
http://www.unconditionalthemovie.com/act_orgpage.php?id=96

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOVIE AND SEE A TRAILER CLICK HERE
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOVIE'S CALL TO ACTION CLICK HERE

It's Time To Act Not React

                            

Have you ever wondered why a person would want to end it all, leaving family and friends to wonder why? This is the thoughts of many around the world, this nation, your state, your city and your community. As we think about the lives lost over the past few years, months and weeks to suicide, we encourage YOU to do something.

The following is provided by NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health):

If you are in a crisis and need help right away:

Call this toll-free number, available 24 hours a day, every day: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a service available to anyone. You may call for yourself or for someone you care about. All calls are confidential.

Monday, September 10, 2012 is World Suicide Prevention Day. It is observed on September 10th each year to promote worldwide action to prevent suicides. Various events and activities are held around the world to raise awareness that suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death.  We encourage you to go out and become more informed of the signs and tendencies of those who may be covering things up. We would hate for your loved one to end it all and you be left wondering why.

Nearly 3000 people on average commit suicide daily, according to WHO. For every person who completes a suicide, 20 or more may attempt to end their lives. About one million people die by suicide each year. Suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death which is influenced by psycho-social, cultural and environmental risk factors that can be prevented through worldwide responses that address these main risk factors.

Today wasn't a normal blog for us. For those who have lost love ones to suicide, today isn't a normal day!

The Re-De-Fined Project sends our heartfelt condolences to the Wright family, the Johnson family, the Murdoch family, and every family whose lives have been forever changed by the premature loss of a loved one by suicide. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those who are going through the pain of wondering why

If you need us to come out to speak to your students, youth group, parent group, or organization about teen suicide we will be there.

Travis Hardin

Pay it forward

You are not a good enough YOU!

You could be the Next...Stop right there. Let's agree by the end of this blog that we will stop saying that.

                                              "Photo via The Caffiene Report"

You could be the next Barrack Obama! You could be the next Katy Perry! You could be the next Justin Bieber! Really? Why Can't I be the first Jody McPhearson? I can hear the collective grumbling now. "Jody, you know what I mean!" "I am simply attempting to encourage little Timmy or Mary to be her best." By being the next someone else? C'mon now!

Our young people are unique individuals. THey have qualities and characteristics specific to only them. They are each made for a specific purpose. If we tell them that they can be the next someone else, aren't we telling them that they are not good enough as themselves? More grumbling? Not so fast. Let's take a closer look at this.

This is not about scolding anyone. This is what we like to call "a teachable moment". That's right, I said it. This is a "teachable moment" for America.

When we say you can be the next... We are sharing our values with our young people. We are saying I value that person and you should too. So what happens when that person falls, or fails? Do we go back and explain that the person has made what we would consider an ethical mistake and we do not value that particular quality? Or do we just speak death into the lives of our young people?

You know how! We say things like, "That girl is a mess!" That is one of the nicer things that I hear adults say. (I won't mention some of the others as this is meant to be a family blog.) What our young people actually hear is that you wanted them to be like that person. You wanted them to be the next, that person. But then that person did something that you deemed inappropriate and you no longer like them. So, they make the assumption that if and when they make a mistake that you will no longer like them either. They will no longer be good enough!

"Photo Credit Mariell Lindland"

Maybe we should say, "I admire that quality in so and so and I see a similar quality in you."

When we say that young people can be the next him or her, we hope that somehow they will only pick up on the good qualities.  But, that is not the way it works. Our young people want to please us and they hone in on the fullness of that person. They begin to walk like them, and talk like them, act like them, they even begin to dress like them. So be careful when you call that celebrity a slut, that you are not telling your young person that she is a slut.

Maybe instead of telling them that they can be the next him or her, we encourage them to be the first themselves. And we can just model the behavior that we want them to emulate. We can change the world and be their role models. Volunteer with a local organization, hold a door open for women, don't just attend church, be the church. Instead of saying You are not a good enough you, let them know that they are good enough. How about we just become better at being us! Maybe it is you that is not a good enough YOU!

Jody McPhearson
Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, Inspiring Hope
Hire Jody to speak at your event

Olympic Gold

Would you be upset if you went to London to compete for a medal and came back to the United States without gold, silver or bronze?

With so much anticipation of the world’s greatest athletes to come together on center stage at the London Olympic Games for competition, I wonder what the thought process is for the thousands of athletes who will not return with a medal. They have trained for years, months, days and hours just like the winners, yet, they get no glory for their efforts.

Our youth are on the same stage day after day and we sit back and allow it to happen. Every young person who has breath should be encouraged, cheered, motivated, inspired and empowered to do great things. However, we sit back and select the more talented, more attractive and most outgoing youth to support and encourage. What about the D student or the less attractive young man/lady? They are on the same stage, yet we ignore their future potential.

I heard a sermon by Bishop Kenneth L. Robinson where he talked about a trip to a soccer match in Africa. He compared the enthusiasm of the tens of thousands of spectators to fans in the United States after a home run, a buzzer beater from 3 point range or a touchdown followed by a dance in the end zone. There was one big difference, no one had scored, yet the fans were all celebrating and yelling at the top of their lungs. The score had been 0-0 for more than 40 minutes of play. The score was not the reason for the excitement but the ANTICIPATION of a goal was.

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can do only a little. DO WHAT YOU CAN.” - Sydney Smith-

Every child is not destined to be the best at everything but every child should be encouraged as if they will someday bring home the gold. There are a lot of premier athletes, actors/actresses, business executives with a lot of money and promise in their respective fields but their character sucks. Let’s not allow another young person from our community make it to center stage without the proper training and guidance from the members of the community.

How awesome would it be to see a young person you know compete in future Olympic Games? Whether they win or lose should not matter. The real winners are not those at the top but those who have come the farthest over the toughest roads. Their victory may never make the headlines, but THEY will know about it, and that’s what counts.

Are you helping to prepare a GOLD medal mentality in a young person? I dare you to try.


Travis Hardin

“Pay it forward”

 http://theredefinedproject.org/speakers/travis_hardin.php

Don't Be A Such A Coward

Coward: A person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.; a timid or easily intimidated person.
How do we expect students to be courageous when they see us act like cowards? Why would they stand up to bullies when we don't? Why should they care if their classmates are hungry, or homeless, or depressed, when we don't?

If we tell them that winning is more important than reporting the abuse of a child how do we expect them to behave? If they only see us not wanting to get involved, they won't get involved either.

You say that wasn't you. You never acted like a coward. You never did these things. 

What about the time you saw that student wearing the same clothing for three days and did nothing to stop the teasing. You never even asked if everything was alright. And let's not forget the time when you overheard the young people "jonesing" on the little "nerd" and you laughed along with them.


When we allow others or even ourselves to be pushed around, abused, mistreated, we are telling the next generation that it is okay. It's alright to lack courage. Change takes courage! If we are unhappy with our world, our community, then we must have the courage to change it. If we exhibit courage, then so will they.

Courage is the ability to do something that frightens oneself.  It is acting on one’s beliefs despite danger or disapproval.Courage originates from the word heart. Love comes from the heart! So it is safe to say that courage takes love. Love for others. That is a message worth sharing. Tell others, tell students.

Don't Be A Coward!

Jody McPhearson

Impacting Communities, Encouraging leaders, Inspiring Hope

http://theredefinedproject.org/speakers/jody_mcphearson.php

It’s None of Your Business

“It’s none of your business!”


Thinking back to when you were younger, how many times did you hear a grown use this expression? I think I heard it a thousand times…. in 6 months. I would hear it and then try to find out from somewhere else. Fortunately for me, I never did run into the wrong situation while asking. Not all young people will be so lucky.

As tomorrow’s leaders, our young people need to know their thoughts and opinions matter. We cannot “close the door” on them whenever they come to us. It is as easy as opening a door or slamming it shut.

If opening a door, the conversation will include the following responses to a teenager:

• "What do you think?"
• "Would you like to share more about that?"
• "That's an excellent question."
• "I don't know, but I'll find out"
• "I'm interested in what you are thinking or saying."
• "Do you know what that means?"
• "That sounds important to you."
• "Would you like to talk about it?"

If closing a door, the conversation will include the following responses to a teenager:

• "You’re too young to understand."
• "If you say that again, I'll..."
• "That's none of your business."
• "I don't care what your friends are doing!"
• "We'll talk about that when you need to know."
• "That's just for boys/girls"
• "Why are you asking me that?"
• "You don't need to know about that."
• "Don't come to me if you mess up."

We need to encourage, not discourage.

Are you an “OPENER” or are you a “CLOSER?”


Travis Hardin

Pay it forward

Let 'Em Fight

I can’t tell you how many times that I hear parents complain about how materialistic their children are. I will admit that it does seem that way sometimes. According to a study described in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the generation of young Americans born after 1982, shows an increasing trend of valuing money, image, and fame more than inherent principles like self-acceptance, affiliation, and community. It calls the generation, “Generation Me”.  

He is my question…Why? Why do we see young people as selfish? Are we to blame?

I often hear parents say that they want their children to have things better than what they had growing up. Does that mean that they should give them everything? Do they think their children are going to be better off because they get everything their hearts desire?  Or, are we creating our own problem?

Wait a minute; I thought we were talking about fighting! We are. Here is the deal. We want well rounded young people who care about their community and grow up to make the world a better place. Why would they fight to make the world a better place when their world is the best place? They won’t!

When young people are so into material things, they begin to identify themselves by what they have. When you spend all of your time identifying with what you have and what others have, there is no time left to think about what others lack.

In order for our young people to fight for something, we can't give them everything. Let ‘Em Fight!

Jody McPhearson

Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, Inspiring Hope

http://theredefinedproject.org/speakers/jody_mcphearson.php

I fought a teenager...How embarrassing!

How will my peers respond when they learn I had a fight with a 17 year old young man? How could I allow my emotions to get the best of me? I should have known better. Let me explain this unfortunate incident.

It was a 112 degree day in June of this year (2012). I was on my way to grab lunch when I decided to go inside a downtown Phoenix restaurant for a meal. I was in no rush as the sweltering heat was keeping the pace of everyone to a crawl. My thought was “This will be quick as there are no lines in any of the restaurants and not many people walking around downtown because of the heat.”

I approached the counter of the restaurant to place my order and had been looking up at the menu for 30-45 seconds when I looked down to see a young man standing next to me with his pants hanging halfway down his legs. I thought to myself, “He needs a belt, this is a little much.” Only to observe he had a belt on.

I then thought, “I will leave it alone because if I say something, he may take it the wrong way and react like a typical teenager.” When I say typical, I mean disrespectfully reply to my question regardless of how polite I speak to him. All of this going on in my head and the young man was simply preparing to place his order just as I was.

I looked down again and realized I had to say something no matter the outcome because there were people all over the restaurant staring and making comments regarding the young man’s pants. I had the worst outcome made up in my mind before speaking. It ran across my mind, “If this young man takes a swing at me I will have to physically respond to his threat against me.”

I said hello to the young man and he responded with a very polite “How are you sir.” I acknowledged with a smile and said I am fine but was wondering why in the world he was showing me his rear end below the shirt.

He responded with a child-like laugh and told me it was just the way his pants fit. I told him how much of a distraction it was as people were trying to eat and his pants were noticeably hanging too low below his waist. He smiled and said immediately “I will pull them up and tighten my belt.” He then went on to thank me for respecting him and asking nicely for him to pull his pants up…… WOW! Not the outcome I had in mind

I thought to myself, “That’s it! All I had to do was politely ask for him to pull up his pants?” I had already played multiple scenarios in my head as to the outcome of asking him to pull up his pants and he nicely pulled them up without hesitation.

How often do you refrain from speaking to our younger generation for fear of their disrespectful response? All it took was for me to SAY SOMETHING. I actually sat down and had lunch with the young man and he shared with me his thoughts and ideas about his future. He wanted to go to college. He had dreams of a family. He aspired to be the best father he could be once he was ready to have kids….. And I had in my mind we would be fighting in the restaurant. Boy did this young man bless me on this day.

I ask you to simply take the time to STAND UP and SAY SOMETHING the next time you are in this position. You may be able to destroy some personal stereotypes you have of our younger generation and be blessed like I was. There are some disrespectful youth and adults out there but if we give respect, it typically comes back in return.

Travis Hardin 
Pay it forward

We've Got Your Back

The federal government estimates that 2 out of 10 high school students experience bullying each year, and the problem is typically worse for middle school students.

If you are a victim of bullying, you’re not alone. Obviously others are victims of bullying. That's not what we are saying here. What we are saying is that We've Got Your Back.

We want you to know that we are willing to stand with you. We will not laugh and point with the bully. We will not look the other way. We will be there to hear you when you ask for help. We will be get teacher's and parents involved.

You are not alone. We've Got Your back. We are a community, and a community listens to and addresses the needs of those in the community.

We know that having to endure bullying usually affects your self-esteem and your ability to learn and be successful at school.You may lose sleep or feel sick. You may want to skip school. You may even be thinking about suicide. You have a purpose and we want you to fufill that purpose.

We've Got Your Back.

Will you join us and help prevent our future leaders from being bullied?  If so, simply respond with We've Got Your Back.

Then, make a commitment not to support bullying in any way. Do not harass, tease, or spread negative gossip about others. Respect others, value differences and try to broaden your social circle to include others who are different from you.

Jody McPhearson
CEO/President
Impacting Communities, Encouraging leaders, Inspiring Hope

Community, What Community?

If we asked a thousand people what community was to them, we would probably get a thousand different responses. The common descriptor would probably be the word belong. People have a desire to belong. Especially teens! Teens want desperately to belong. They want to feel as if they are a part of something. That they are not in this world alone.

Isn't that what we all want? To belong to a community? Where we truly listened to one another and we attempted to understand each other's needs?

And just what would happen if that were the case? Would there be less teens being bullied? Would fewer young people attempt suicide? Could it be possible that we would witness fewer dropouts who fell through the cracks? What would happen?

I, for one, need to know. I need to know what would happen if we created a community that cared for each other. A community that heard one another. A community that encouraged and inspired one another. 

I had a vision of a community such as this, where all young people knew their purpose and their worth. A community where they never were left alone to fend for themselves. A place where they could share their dreams and fears freely.

I couldn't find a community on a map, so I decided to create one. Welcome to my community!

Jody McPhearson