You could be the next Barrack Obama! You could be the next Katy Perry! You could be the next Justin Bieber! Really? Why Can't I be the first Jody McPhearson? I can hear the collective grumbling now. "Jody, you know what I mean!" "I am simply attempting to encourage little Timmy or Mary to be her best." By being the next someone else? C'mon now!
Our young people are unique individuals. THey have qualities and characteristics specific to only them. They are each made for a specific purpose. If we tell them that they can be the next someone else, aren't we telling them that they are not good enough as themselves? More grumbling? Not so fast. Let's take a closer look at this.
This is not about scolding anyone. This is what we like to call "a teachable moment". That's right, I said it. This is a "teachable moment" for America.
When we say you can be the next... We are sharing our values with our young people. We are saying I value that person and you should too. So what happens when that person falls, or fails? Do we go back and explain that the person has made what we would consider an ethical mistake and we do not value that particular quality? Or do we just speak death into the lives of our young people?
You know how! We say things like, "That girl is a mess!" That is one of the nicer things that I hear adults say. (I won't mention some of the others as this is meant to be a family blog.) What our young people actually hear is that you wanted them to be like that person. You wanted them to be the next, that person. But then that person did something that you deemed inappropriate and you no longer like them. So, they make the assumption that if and when they make a mistake that you will no longer like them either. They will no longer be good enough!
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| "Photo Credit Mariell Lindland" |
Maybe we should say, "I admire that quality in so and so and I see a similar quality in you."
When we say that young people can be the next him or her, we hope that somehow they will only pick up on the good qualities. But, that is not the way it works. Our young people want to please us and they hone in on the fullness of that person. They begin to walk like them, and talk like them, act like them, they even begin to dress like them. So be careful when you call that celebrity a slut, that you are not telling your young person that she is a slut.
Maybe instead of telling them that they can be the next him or her, we encourage them to be the first themselves. And we can just model the behavior that we want them to emulate. We can change the world and be their role models. Volunteer with a local organization, hold a door open for women, don't just attend church, be the church. Instead of saying You are not a good enough you, let them know that they are good enough. How about we just become better at being us! Maybe it is you that is not a good enough YOU!
Jody McPhearson
Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, Inspiring Hope
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