BULLYING EFFECTS & CONSEQUENCES AS A VICTIM

During a recent trip to Tennessee to visit family, I was constantly reminded of how bullying remains in the lives of youth. On my flight back, I talked with a few people on board who shared their negative experiences with bullying. I advised we would continue to voice this challenge as we try to engage all youth in Character Building, Career Development and Community Involvement.

For children/youth that are or have been victimized by bullies, there are usually serious impacts on their lives and development. Negative health consequences of bullying can generally be classified under four categories:

• Low Psychological Well-being

• Poor Social Adjustment

• Psychological Distress

• Physically Ill-health

Such harmful effects can be both short-term as well as long-term:

Short-term Effects

Drop in grades to poor school attendance: Victims of bullying typically start to lose interest in school work, and may even avoid going to school, for fear of being bullied. As they spend an increasing amount of time thinking of ways to evade the trauma, they have less energy left for learning, thus their academic results suffer. That would in turn lead to more pressure and shame.

Loneliness and poor social relationships: Victimization is related to immediate effects such as loneliness, anxiety and a low sense of self-worth too. Besides that, those bullied usually have few friends, and their friendships are often of poor quality.

Physical ill-health: Physical ill-health symptoms can occur as well such as headaches, mouth-sores etc. Such health problems take place as constantly resisting and fearing the bully taxes the mental and physical defenses, causing the body system to break down.

Long-term Effects

Lowered self-esteem and depression: Bullying victims generally suffer from lower self-esteem, and a greater susceptibility to depression in the long run as compared to their non-victimized counterparts. Research has shown that there is “a causal link between peer victimization and low levels of well-being”.

Suicide: Apart from that, there had been several cases of “bullycide”, whereby victims commit suicide because of frequent bullying.

Self-harm: Many victims may choose to suffer in silence, or inflict pain upon themselves.

Revenge leading to violent juvenile behavior: Some victims may strike back in vengeance. The latter may consequently display violent juvenile behavior.

Due to the many damaging consequences of bullying, the victims are often trapped in a vicious cycle of continued victimization. Hence proper measures to prevent and to deal with the issue ought to be implemented. Social support is vital too, for the lack of it can contribute significantly to poor mental health among victims as well.

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

SPLIT SECOND DECISION

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

What would you do if life felt as if it were no longer worth living? Would you take it upon yourself to end something you never started? That is what I have had to think about over and over again as I think about the families of Kasandra Perkins and Jovan Belcher.

Here at The Re-De-Fined Project, we do not have all the answers to issues and problems of our youth but what we do make a conscious effort to accomplish is a consistent ear and avenue for young men and women to talk to. This tragedy which occurred in Kansas City is another reminder that we need to do any and all we can to have an open line of communication with as many youth as possible.

Maine head football coach Jack Cosgrove stated “I thought he was at his best when he was around young people and when he was on the football field where he displayed a work ethic that I think I would categorize as virtually unmatched.”

With this in mind, suicide is a split second decision and it can happen to anyone reading this. If you have not been impacted by suicide in your family, career, local community or simply a friend of a friend, consider yourself fortunate. Odds are, you have in some way been impacted by this tragic result of things people always consider the unknown. No matter your age, we ask for your help in acknowledging that you are closely tied to someone on the verge of this type of action. Take a stand and talk about it because it is REAL. We can’t stop suicide worldwide but we can start in areas close to us by speaking up and speaking out.

Our prayer at The Re-De-Fined Project is for any and all families who have had to endure through this form of tragedy and pray that no one else has it come to reality in their family.

Remember, money cannot make joy a permanent circumstance. Connect with us here at The Re-De-Fined Project and we can show you ways in which joy will be the center of your life. It will take work as it does not come easy. Join me in taking a stand.

God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us- in the dreariest and most dreaded moments- can see a possibility of hope.
~ Maya Angelou

Pay it forward

It's Time To Act Not React

                            

Have you ever wondered why a person would want to end it all, leaving family and friends to wonder why? This is the thoughts of many around the world, this nation, your state, your city and your community. As we think about the lives lost over the past few years, months and weeks to suicide, we encourage YOU to do something.

The following is provided by NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health):

If you are in a crisis and need help right away:

Call this toll-free number, available 24 hours a day, every day: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a service available to anyone. You may call for yourself or for someone you care about. All calls are confidential.

Monday, September 10, 2012 is World Suicide Prevention Day. It is observed on September 10th each year to promote worldwide action to prevent suicides. Various events and activities are held around the world to raise awareness that suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death.  We encourage you to go out and become more informed of the signs and tendencies of those who may be covering things up. We would hate for your loved one to end it all and you be left wondering why.

Nearly 3000 people on average commit suicide daily, according to WHO. For every person who completes a suicide, 20 or more may attempt to end their lives. About one million people die by suicide each year. Suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death which is influenced by psycho-social, cultural and environmental risk factors that can be prevented through worldwide responses that address these main risk factors.

Today wasn't a normal blog for us. For those who have lost love ones to suicide, today isn't a normal day!

The Re-De-Fined Project sends our heartfelt condolences to the Wright family, the Johnson family, the Murdoch family, and every family whose lives have been forever changed by the premature loss of a loved one by suicide. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those who are going through the pain of wondering why

If you need us to come out to speak to your students, youth group, parent group, or organization about teen suicide we will be there.

Travis Hardin

Pay it forward

We've Got Your Back

The federal government estimates that 2 out of 10 high school students experience bullying each year, and the problem is typically worse for middle school students.

If you are a victim of bullying, you’re not alone. Obviously others are victims of bullying. That's not what we are saying here. What we are saying is that We've Got Your Back.

We want you to know that we are willing to stand with you. We will not laugh and point with the bully. We will not look the other way. We will be there to hear you when you ask for help. We will be get teacher's and parents involved.

You are not alone. We've Got Your back. We are a community, and a community listens to and addresses the needs of those in the community.

We know that having to endure bullying usually affects your self-esteem and your ability to learn and be successful at school.You may lose sleep or feel sick. You may want to skip school. You may even be thinking about suicide. You have a purpose and we want you to fufill that purpose.

We've Got Your Back.

Will you join us and help prevent our future leaders from being bullied?  If so, simply respond with We've Got Your Back.

Then, make a commitment not to support bullying in any way. Do not harass, tease, or spread negative gossip about others. Respect others, value differences and try to broaden your social circle to include others who are different from you.

Jody McPhearson
CEO/President
Impacting Communities, Encouraging leaders, Inspiring Hope

The Pain of Pomp and Circumstance

Who can I trust when I am days from graduation and hours from death? This is the inside voice of many graduates during this season. Think of the child who is being promoted from 6th grade to the junior high level. Consider the 8th grader who is in the teenage years and moving up to high school. And let us not forget the high school senior preparing for the next phase of life.

All happy occasions but inside they are hurting. The worst part is, no one knows why. Each of the above referenced scenarios are examples of young people who suffer from unimaginable circumstances at home, yet, no one in the COMMUNITY cares to ask questions about the signs that have been evident for months. Young people are being abused at home on a daily basis and WE as the COMMUNITY do not stand in the gap. Mothers and fathers are taking out their anger on innocent children and we are so elated about our kids graduating we do not take the time to stop and think about anyone else. Is this the value of COMMUNITY?

I remember my high school graduation day as if it were yesterday. A warm and sunny Saturday afternoon in June, all the graduates gathered together for what would be our final assembly as one unit as the class of 1995. Many were laughing and many more were crying at the thoughts of not seeing each other again. Of course, you had a few that did not have a clue as to what they would do next. But what about the tears that were coming down because they knew this was the end? They knew this would be the final day and the plans of suicide would be carried out immediately following the ceremony in the parking lot. No one cared that the father was beating; raping and then urinating on her night after night....the COMMUNITY did not exist.

Immediately following the commencement address, she got up from her seat and ran outside to her car. People wondered why in the world she would bypass all of the cheering and hugging to come. All she wanted was a way out of the struggles and the pain caused at home. All she thought was "if I die then I no longer have to endure this anymore."

How many graduates felt like this when you crossed the stage? You are probably like me and do not know the answer. On this particular day in June, the suicide was prevented by a young kid who asked her what she was doing when she went to open her car door. As I sat and listened to the story in 2007, I tried to reflect on why I was walking by the car and spoke up to ask her what she was doing. I couldn't remember but what I do remember is graduating and wanting to make a difference in the lives of young people. I simply ask you to join me.


Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

Community, What Community?

If we asked a thousand people what community was to them, we would probably get a thousand different responses. The common descriptor would probably be the word belong. People have a desire to belong. Especially teens! Teens want desperately to belong. They want to feel as if they are a part of something. That they are not in this world alone.

Isn't that what we all want? To belong to a community? Where we truly listened to one another and we attempted to understand each other's needs?

And just what would happen if that were the case? Would there be less teens being bullied? Would fewer young people attempt suicide? Could it be possible that we would witness fewer dropouts who fell through the cracks? What would happen?

I, for one, need to know. I need to know what would happen if we created a community that cared for each other. A community that heard one another. A community that encouraged and inspired one another. 

I had a vision of a community such as this, where all young people knew their purpose and their worth. A community where they never were left alone to fend for themselves. A place where they could share their dreams and fears freely.

I couldn't find a community on a map, so I decided to create one. Welcome to my community!

Jody McPhearson