It's Time To Act Not React

                            

Have you ever wondered why a person would want to end it all, leaving family and friends to wonder why? This is the thoughts of many around the world, this nation, your state, your city and your community. As we think about the lives lost over the past few years, months and weeks to suicide, we encourage YOU to do something.

The following is provided by NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health):

If you are in a crisis and need help right away:

Call this toll-free number, available 24 hours a day, every day: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a service available to anyone. You may call for yourself or for someone you care about. All calls are confidential.

Monday, September 10, 2012 is World Suicide Prevention Day. It is observed on September 10th each year to promote worldwide action to prevent suicides. Various events and activities are held around the world to raise awareness that suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death.  We encourage you to go out and become more informed of the signs and tendencies of those who may be covering things up. We would hate for your loved one to end it all and you be left wondering why.

Nearly 3000 people on average commit suicide daily, according to WHO. For every person who completes a suicide, 20 or more may attempt to end their lives. About one million people die by suicide each year. Suicide is a major preventable cause of premature death which is influenced by psycho-social, cultural and environmental risk factors that can be prevented through worldwide responses that address these main risk factors.

Today wasn't a normal blog for us. For those who have lost love ones to suicide, today isn't a normal day!

The Re-De-Fined Project sends our heartfelt condolences to the Wright family, the Johnson family, the Murdoch family, and every family whose lives have been forever changed by the premature loss of a loved one by suicide. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those who are going through the pain of wondering why

If you need us to come out to speak to your students, youth group, parent group, or organization about teen suicide we will be there.

Travis Hardin

Pay it forward

You are not a good enough YOU!

You could be the Next...Stop right there. Let's agree by the end of this blog that we will stop saying that.

                                              "Photo via The Caffiene Report"

You could be the next Barrack Obama! You could be the next Katy Perry! You could be the next Justin Bieber! Really? Why Can't I be the first Jody McPhearson? I can hear the collective grumbling now. "Jody, you know what I mean!" "I am simply attempting to encourage little Timmy or Mary to be her best." By being the next someone else? C'mon now!

Our young people are unique individuals. THey have qualities and characteristics specific to only them. They are each made for a specific purpose. If we tell them that they can be the next someone else, aren't we telling them that they are not good enough as themselves? More grumbling? Not so fast. Let's take a closer look at this.

This is not about scolding anyone. This is what we like to call "a teachable moment". That's right, I said it. This is a "teachable moment" for America.

When we say you can be the next... We are sharing our values with our young people. We are saying I value that person and you should too. So what happens when that person falls, or fails? Do we go back and explain that the person has made what we would consider an ethical mistake and we do not value that particular quality? Or do we just speak death into the lives of our young people?

You know how! We say things like, "That girl is a mess!" That is one of the nicer things that I hear adults say. (I won't mention some of the others as this is meant to be a family blog.) What our young people actually hear is that you wanted them to be like that person. You wanted them to be the next, that person. But then that person did something that you deemed inappropriate and you no longer like them. So, they make the assumption that if and when they make a mistake that you will no longer like them either. They will no longer be good enough!

"Photo Credit Mariell Lindland"

Maybe we should say, "I admire that quality in so and so and I see a similar quality in you."

When we say that young people can be the next him or her, we hope that somehow they will only pick up on the good qualities.  But, that is not the way it works. Our young people want to please us and they hone in on the fullness of that person. They begin to walk like them, and talk like them, act like them, they even begin to dress like them. So be careful when you call that celebrity a slut, that you are not telling your young person that she is a slut.

Maybe instead of telling them that they can be the next him or her, we encourage them to be the first themselves. And we can just model the behavior that we want them to emulate. We can change the world and be their role models. Volunteer with a local organization, hold a door open for women, don't just attend church, be the church. Instead of saying You are not a good enough you, let them know that they are good enough. How about we just become better at being us! Maybe it is you that is not a good enough YOU!

Jody McPhearson
Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, Inspiring Hope
Hire Jody to speak at your event

Refund Your Blessings

Are you nice even when you do not feel like it? That was the question I asked after the store manager handed my money back.

I had run into the Wal-Mart to get a refund for an item that was not properly working, and after 15 minutes of back and forth, I was faced with a disgruntled manager. I nicely asked if I could talk to another manager about the refund and a separate manager came to the desk. As I explained the situation again to the second manager, it seemed we were heading down the same road. As we talked I wondered if I would get my money back.

Moments later, the manager said “By now, customers are usually irate and yelling, but you’ve been patient.” Then he said, “Let’s try something else.” He asked a few questions and started punching numbers into the cash register. After a short delay, and stories about irate customers, the machine produced a receipt with my refund.

The manager went on to tell me the reason the first manager was being so difficult is because a group of high school students were observing customer interactions from a local high school. The kids were in a room, inside the Wal-Mart watching the live footage.

As I was leaving the store, one of the young students came out to thank me for the way I handled myself. He told me I was the only customer who did not get mad or say anything mean to the managers. He told me he learned a valuable lesson from the observation of my refund. Although my refund was small in price, the lesson was priceless in the eyes of a group of young people.

We never know when young people are observing us so it is best that we be consistent examples of how they should be when they grow up.

This was a perfect opportunity for me to discourage a room of students without realizing the harm I could have put on our community. Simply because I kept a level head and displayed positive character, young people were encouraged to be nice even when you feel like going straight off on someone else. Am I always this calm? Absolutely not! I just wanted YOU to see how you can impact our youth with your day to day interactions with others. Their eyes and ears are always open.

The next time you are in a store or simply out in public, what lesson are you teaching the class of students who may be observing you? Just know that every single day, you are a teacher and young people are watching you and learning from your actions. I challenge you to always, REFUND YOUR BLESSINGS.


Travis Hardin

Pay it forward

Hire Travis to speak to your group

 "Photo Credit: Howard McWilliam"

Why are you sticking up for Gabby Douglas?

Gabrielle Union, Rebecca Sive, Jason Whitlock, Dominique Dawes, and about half of the twitterverse.  That is a shortlist of those defending Gabby Douglas. But why?

First, let's look at what are they defending her about. Social-media sites and other platforms have begun to criticize a 16 year old, who represented our country at the Olympic Games and has won two gold medals to date. The reason, of all things, is the upkeep of her hair. That's right, I said, her hair!

Really? Why would you bully a 16 year old? What did your hair look like at sixteen? What record setting accomplishments had you achieved at sixteen?

That's me at seventeen. I challenge you to go to our Facebook page and post a photo of you and your hair at 1sixteen.  Put Gabby in the comment section. The Re-DeFined Project

All of this is confusing to me. Apparently it is to Gabby as well ."I don't know where this is coming from. What's wrong with my hair?" said Gabby http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/05/gabby-douglas-hair-olympics-2012_n_1743897.html?utm_hp_ref=style

People need to find something else to criticize,’’ Damone Roberts says. “She’s a teenager who, God forbid, spends more time on her craft than she does her hair.  http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/08/02/gabby-douglas-takes-two-olympic-golds-and-hair-criticism.html

I cannot explain why this is a topic of discussion. Perhaps it is an example of crab mentality, or maybe it is self hatred. Or, just maybe it is a glaring, revealing insight into our value system. Have we taught our young people to value appearances over accomplishments, perms over personality, becoming popular over becoming purposeful?
  

Did you know that the odds of winning an Olympic gold medal are said to be approximately 22,000,000 to 1? Women's gymnastics all-around champion Gabby Douglas has won 2! I do not believe that it is a happenstance that if you rearrange Gabby's last name Douglas it reads USA Gold!

Gabby is doing what she was purposed to do! She is an Olympic champion, Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, and Inspiring Hope in millions. We salute you Gabrielle Douglas! Fulfilling purpose is not easy work that begins in six-inch heels, a perfectly tailored suit and makeup.Purpose  requires hard work, sweat, and many unglamorous moments. The Olympics are not reality television where one can freshen up for every camera take. It is real life played out in front of us.

Let us be encouraging to young people who are willing to "Go Hard In The Paint" to achieve their goals. Let us lift them up rather than tear them down. Let us be above these types of petty discussions that attempt to tarnish the accomplishments of young people. Let us stick up for every Gabby Douglas out there!

For those who insist on continuing this meaningless, frivolous fixation on an extraordinary, Olympic gold medalist's hair, this video should help to cure that.

I am not my hair.
https://www.facebook.com/theredefinedproject?ref=hl

Jody McPhearson
Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, Inspiring Hope
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