THE ROAD TO THE FINAL FOUR

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

Here at The Re-De-Fined Project, we have had many conversations with middle and high school students over the past few months regarding bullying. The results of these conversations caused us to really think about March Madness and how we can effectively bring more information to you and your families.

As teams compete for NCAA’s Men’s and Women’s National Basketball Championship, we wanted to bring a slightly different Final Four to your attention:

-Acceptance
-Fun
-Friendship
-To Be Taken Seriously

We will look at four key areas as determined by conversations with students. These four can be very different from teen to teen however; these four kept coming up in the schools we have been involved in during the 2012-2013 school year. This blog will discuss ACCEPTANCE. We will continue with the remaining three in coming weeks as we wind down to the finals.

As leaders from The Re-De-Fined Project we hear and see a lot of things from youth. One constant is we see how these teens struggle. The one thing they struggle with most is finding acceptance in their peer group. The hardest part for them is getting into that peer group, which usually requires some sort of initiation. This journey towards acceptance by another peer group usually reveals its face in many different forms or problems.

For example, as teens struggle to find acceptance in a peer group, they might need to have sex, abuse drugs, or be athletically inclined to really be accepted.

As a parent, there are many things you can do to help your teen with this struggle. For starters, do you know where your teen struggles? How are they trying to be accepted today?

Your teens struggle for acceptance has to begin at home. As your teen finds acceptance in their home, they will find it easier to be accepted into "good" peer groups, instead of having to fight for acceptance into a not-so-good peer group.

Lastly, as your teen's parent, you have to find ways to communicate to them that they are accepted in their own home. As you identify admirable things about your teen, communicate that to them. No matter how big or small the admiration. Even if your teen says that they aren't looking for acceptance, they are. They will feel a lot of acceptance as you communicate it to them.

We encourage you to help The Re-De-Fined Project gain momentum as we speak more about what it means to “BE BRAVE.”

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

THE BULLY, THE BYSTANDER, THE BRAVE, CHOOSE ONE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

You have to choose a role!

In the case of bullying, there is always attention given to the person that is being bullied. In most cases we rarely, if ever, hear of the person that commits the act of bullying, i.e the BULLY. There is another person that is almost certain to be there that is never mentioned...the BYSTANDER. That's right, the BYSTANDER! Are you a BYSTANDER?

According to a University of Washington report on bullying , about 85% of bullying incidents have bystanders. The report by Craig and Pepler, Making a Difference in Bullying, states that bullying usually stops within 5 seconds when there is someone BRAVE enough to intervene. 5 SECONDS!!!
Watching is just as bad as doing the bullying yourself! Don't laugh because someone is being teased. To you it is teasing, to them it might be torture!

Some believe that we should just allow teens to work these things out on their own. The problem with that is often times the solution is final. Teen suicide is on the rise in our country, in case you have not been paying attention. Bullying is a major part of this problem! In addition to being a factor in teen suicide, bullying is also a huge factor in students bringing weapons to school. In fact, bullying affects everything at school, from grades to relationships.


Which role do you choose?

The Bully?

The BYSTANDER?

The BRAVE?

Time is up? What's your choice?

KEYS TO HIGH SCHOOL SUCCESS

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

1. Successful High School Students Are Organized The successful high school student's papers may be all over the place right now, but chances are that they have dated them and put on a heading that will help easily identify the paper when they’re ready to organize. A successful high school student should also have a place where they can keep track of daily assignments, test dates, and other extracurricular activities.
2. Successful High School Students Ask Questions
Questions to clarify assignments...Questions about difficult concepts...Questions about how the material applies to life...Questions about where to get more answers...And more, and more, and more questions. Successful high school students use questions to create an education that is customized to what they need in life.
3. Successful High School Students Have Support
Whether it is a parent, another trusted adult, or a friend that is a phone call away, successful high school students have someone they can turn to when they need help with an assignment or just need someone to talk to about the stresses of school life.
4. Successful High School Students Focus on Learning, Not Grades
At the end of a homework assignment or study session, a highly successful high school student feels that he or she is successful if they understand the material. If the end goal of studying is solely to achieve a good grade the information is less likely to be obtained.
5. Successful High School Students Read Independently
School doesn't teach everything you need to know. The most successful students read additional material, at least 30 minutes a day. Any type of reading works, whether it is a novel for fun, the articles in their favorite magazine, or an online news site.
6. Successful High School Students Are Well-Mannered
Polite people get things done and win allies for the long term in their high school career and in life. From help on homework, to getting a letter of recommendation, to getting a foot in the door for a future career, successful high school students know that their good manners now will have people lining up to help them later on down the road.
7. Successful High School Students Have Fun in School
There's more to school than class, homework, and lunch. The most successful high school students are involved a few extracurricular-activities, including clubs, sports, community service, and student government.

At the end of the day, students who are involved in more than just what is asked of them trend to be more successful. We here at The Re-De-Fined Project encourage our youth to do more and for the adults to require much more. It begins with you.


Pay it forward

Travis Hardin