TERRIBLE ROLE MODELS...WHAT WE'VE TAUGHT OUR YOUTH

By Jody McPhearson

An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

 



Over the last few month's I have spoken with young adults who would be voting for the very first time in their lives in this past election. I must admit, many were not excited. I asked why and begin to get typical 18 year old answers such as, "I don't really know any of these people", "My vote won't matter", and my favorite, "Who cares?".
I began to wonder if what were the underlying reasons. I would continue to speak to these young people, pressing upon them the importance of voting. I also began to really focus on the election, listening to the candidates, watching campaign commercials, and listening to many very opinionated supporters.
I began to realize that these young people felt negatively about voting because of the way we behave. We are worst than over enthusiastic, drunken, belligerent sports fans cheering for our team versus our archenemies. We not only support "our" candidate, we root for death, (in many cases literally death), of the opponent. Is this how to engage young people in politics?
If that were not bad enough, after the election is over, just like in sports, we start in with all of the excuses as to why our team lost, then we blame others, then we began to tear down the other team, and belittle their victory. The biggest difference between the sports fan and the political supporter is that the sports fan eventually moves on to the next game or the next team whilst the political supporter began to spew hateful language and set traps and roadblocks to ensure failure of the opposed candidate. This is the most asinine action that I can think of! If the leader of our country fails, we all fail! If our candidate had the answers and lost, if our candidate is the man/woman that we believed in, one with integrity, honor, and a desire to get our country back on track, I would expect to see such candidate sitting at the table and helping to create and implement solutions. That means that he/she will not function like John McCain and Sarah Palin and continue to spew venom and attempt to undermine the presidential office.
I never intended for this blog to be a rant, however, I am disgusted with the behavior of many of my fellow Americans both pre and post election. And so are our young people!

STOP BEING SUCH A TERRIBLE ROLE MODEL!

Photo Courtesy of MileyCyrus.com

YOU HAVEN'T EARNED IT YET!

 

So this is my first and hopefully last time ever mentioning Kimberly Noel Kardashian formally.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t just about her. This is also about the media, and I suppose, society as a whole.

Here is how all this came about.  I ran across this quote. "I think there was a quote where somebody said that reality stars will never get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame," [said Kim], "So, of course I'm so competitive that I think that it would be a huge achievement and a goal that anyone would want. I would love to break that mold." –Kim Kardashian

One of the biggest honors in the entertainment industry is achieving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. While Kim Kardashian has appeared in a few TV series and films, she has not come close to having earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

"She is a reality star. We don't do reality stars," a Chamber of Commerce rep responded. "She needs to get a real acting job then come to us."  Kim Kardashian not getting star

Here’s a look at her credits:

Disaster Movie, Beyond the Break TV series, CSI: NY TV series, Deep in the Valley straight to DVD, and Drop Dead Diva TV series.

This list doesn’t even mention her most famous role, you know the one that started it all, opposite Brandy’s little brother! What makes her think that she is deserving of a star. Maybe a star on The Walk of Shame would be more appropriate? By now this probably sounds like a Kim Kardashian bashing blog. It is not!

Here is what this blog is really about. You! Just because you want something does not mean that the world owes it to you. It is good to know that there are still some things that you are expected to earn.  It is good to know that money cannot buy everything.

It seems as if everyone wants to be famous for doing nothing more than what the last person did. I am sorry, that is not entirely true. Some want to be famous for acting more foolishly and outlandish than everyone else. For pushing the envelope!

How about putting all of that energy into making your community a better place to live, making your neighborhood a safe place for kids to play in front of their homes, solving some of the more serious issues in society, tackling issues like homelessness and teen suicide? If you want your star, your fifteen minutes of fame, EARN IT!

If you want to be famous, rich, well known, Earn it! You are not special just because you want to be. Do something! Create something! Help somebody! Like this guy!

Mark West from Phoenix Suns hosts annual free basketball and education camp.

Get involved

Jody McPhearson
Inspiring Teens to Live a Life of Purpose
Invite Jody to speak for your group, school, or event

You are not a good enough YOU!

You could be the Next...Stop right there. Let's agree by the end of this blog that we will stop saying that.

                                              "Photo via The Caffiene Report"

You could be the next Barrack Obama! You could be the next Katy Perry! You could be the next Justin Bieber! Really? Why Can't I be the first Jody McPhearson? I can hear the collective grumbling now. "Jody, you know what I mean!" "I am simply attempting to encourage little Timmy or Mary to be her best." By being the next someone else? C'mon now!

Our young people are unique individuals. THey have qualities and characteristics specific to only them. They are each made for a specific purpose. If we tell them that they can be the next someone else, aren't we telling them that they are not good enough as themselves? More grumbling? Not so fast. Let's take a closer look at this.

This is not about scolding anyone. This is what we like to call "a teachable moment". That's right, I said it. This is a "teachable moment" for America.

When we say you can be the next... We are sharing our values with our young people. We are saying I value that person and you should too. So what happens when that person falls, or fails? Do we go back and explain that the person has made what we would consider an ethical mistake and we do not value that particular quality? Or do we just speak death into the lives of our young people?

You know how! We say things like, "That girl is a mess!" That is one of the nicer things that I hear adults say. (I won't mention some of the others as this is meant to be a family blog.) What our young people actually hear is that you wanted them to be like that person. You wanted them to be the next, that person. But then that person did something that you deemed inappropriate and you no longer like them. So, they make the assumption that if and when they make a mistake that you will no longer like them either. They will no longer be good enough!

"Photo Credit Mariell Lindland"

Maybe we should say, "I admire that quality in so and so and I see a similar quality in you."

When we say that young people can be the next him or her, we hope that somehow they will only pick up on the good qualities.  But, that is not the way it works. Our young people want to please us and they hone in on the fullness of that person. They begin to walk like them, and talk like them, act like them, they even begin to dress like them. So be careful when you call that celebrity a slut, that you are not telling your young person that she is a slut.

Maybe instead of telling them that they can be the next him or her, we encourage them to be the first themselves. And we can just model the behavior that we want them to emulate. We can change the world and be their role models. Volunteer with a local organization, hold a door open for women, don't just attend church, be the church. Instead of saying You are not a good enough you, let them know that they are good enough. How about we just become better at being us! Maybe it is you that is not a good enough YOU!

Jody McPhearson
Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, Inspiring Hope
Hire Jody to speak at your event