"HOWEVER"...A LESSON LEARNED FROM LANCE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

 

It has been a rough couple of weeks for Lance Armstrong. My goal is not to pile on to it. Rather, my desire is to learn from it. So this is about what I learned from Lance. I call it "The lesson of However".

 

Let me begin by saying that I admire the fact that he has overcome. It is a well known fact that the doctors gave him a 50/50 chance of survival from stage 4 testicular cancer. In case you have been living under a rock, he beat it! I am equally appreciative of the fact that LiveStrong has been able to raise over $470 million dollars since 1997, according to their website. You see, my mother is a long time survivor of breast cancer.

If you are awaiting the big but, there is no but. You see, but cancels out everything that came before it, and there is no way that I can cancel out the healing of a man's cancer. there is no way I can cancel out the work that the Livestrong foundation has done. So there is no but!

However...There is an extremely big HOWEVER! (You see, however in the simplest terms means contradiction.) Sorry, you probably knew that. HOWEVER...

“This really is a story bigger than Lance,’’ Scott Mercier, Lance's ex-teammate, said. “It’s bigger than cycling. It really goes to the core of (the fact that) ethics matter, (and) doing things the right way matter. It seems whether it’s business, academics, politics, I think the country is fed up. Hopefully we’re seeing a cultural shift that how you do things is more important than the result.’’ You can read the story here

Is this a novel idea? That way we do things is more important than just the results? Is that the voice of the minority? Aren't we yet at the point where character, ethics, and morals are the most important qualities that we instill into our children?

That's the HOWEVER! Even if an athlete wins the Tour De France seven times, character counts. Even if an athlete is the youngest player to score 20,000 points playing basketball, there is a right way to treat people. Even if a recording artist is named the most successful R&B artist of the last 25 years by Billboard, morals count. Even if you are one of the highest paid "reality stars", how you got there is just as important.

If not, there will always be a HOWEVER next to your name!

Isn't this really the lesson that we should be sharing here? Isn't this what Lance has taught us? I believe that this is what's called a teachable moment!  Tonight grab your children and tell them the cautionary tale of HOWEVER.



PRESIDENTIAL STATE OF MIND

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

As Barack Hussein Obama is sworn in as president today for his second term, I can’t help but to think about the mindset of our youth who do not even know the power of potential that lies within each and every one of them.

I spoke to a young man from a local high school last week and he was comfortable saying he had failed 2 classes in the first semester. I told him that was unacceptable and shared reasons why it was unacceptable. His demeanor became defensive as he questioned why I cared. I told him he has everything inside of him needed to become anything he wanted. I told him he needed to push himself harder and strive for A’s and not simply settling for C’s, D’s, and F’s.

Once we discussed his future plans, family, and dreams he told me no one has ever taken the time to explain the consequences of bad grades in the future. He then started asking me questions about my career and family. I told him he needs to have a “Presidential state of mind.” As long as he could think it, the possibility of it coming true was within reach. He could be president of a company, an organization or of these United States. If we do not think it we will never be able to do it.

For every young person reading this post, I hope you not only watched the inauguration of President Obama, but you saw yourself being sworn into a top position in a field of your desire. It doesn’t start when you get older; it starts right now while you are in school and learning what it means to separate yourself from the rest. You must stand out and do the things now, which no one else in your class and/or school is doing. I dare you to start by looking in the mirror and ask if you are doing ALL you can to be the best.

For all the dysfunction that our country is exhibiting at the moment, Dr. King reminds us that the time is always ripe to do right. We should never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person is at stake.

"Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way." ~ Tavis Smiley

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

PEOPLE PROTECT WHAT THEY VALUE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

Last year in Chicago, 532 people were murdered! 532!!!!!!! This year they are already on pace for well over 700!!!!!!!!!!! There have been 21 homicides in Chicago since the start of 2013. At least 15 of the victims were shot to death, and more than half were under the age of 30. These may not be teens, but they are not far removed.

As we deal with the tragedy of Sandy Hook Elementary, I can not help but think of all of our young people who are dying due to gun violence in our communities. We look at that tragedy and are distraught as a nation because they were so young. In cities like Chicago, 'young people are often targets. In the school year that ended in June 2012, 319 Chicago public school students were shot, 24 of them fatally.' - Washington Post - Where is the outrage over these numbers?

Why have we not been affected by these 532 like we were these 27 in Connecticut? Is it because we have been able to demonize the shooters because of believed and often times real gang affiliations? Is it because we do not want to be reminded of those living in poverty in our own neighborhoods? After all, it is much easier to be fed up with what is happening in Africa than our own backyards.

Here is the point of my outburst. These are our children! They are human beings. They are individuals whose lives carry value. Things that carry value are typically treasured. Even when that thing that carries value is tarnished , we are willing to put in the effort to clean it up in an effort for it to express the true value. Things that carry value are often locked away and protected at all costs. People would often rather die than to give up their valuables.

I highlight Chicago because of the sheer mass numbers, however the problem is not an isolated one. It affects us all. In every community our children are being attacked and taken away. What are we going to do about it?

Protect that which is most valuable to you!

photo credit

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MUST A GIRL BE NAKED TO BE LOVED?

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

I hope the title was not what sucked you in! You might be disappointed to find that there are no nude photos here. You really did not expect to see any did you?

Anyhow, let's get to what this blog is really about. Modesty! That's right, modesty! Saige Hatch, a California high school student started the Modesty Club recently. A club that encourages teens to dress modestly, have high self esteem, and respect their bodies. In a day and age where I constantly hear about teens dressing provocatively it is refreshing and encouraging to hear about some wanting to cover up. As it turns out, this is not the only club or organization of its kind. The Pure Fashion Mission is a faith-based program that encourages teen girls to live, act, and dress in accordance with their dignity as children of God. There are others, as well. These are just a couple of examples.

Amazingly, some teens are actually rejecting what the media says is appropriate dress for their age. What about us? The parents! What role do we play in all of this? After all, most 13 year old teens do not work, in order to purchase their own clothing. Therefore, it stands to reason that we as parents are the ones buying the clothing with words written across the butt, drawing attention to an area that I as a dad have no desire to have attention drawn to.

Should we as parents support our 15 year old sons wearing only a colored wife beater to the movies, in order to showcase the tattoos that we sign permission for them to get? Should we allow our 14 year old daughters to buy lacy bras that peek out at young men when the extra low cut v-neck t-shirt that are wearing moves around while they are playing dodgeball? Or thong underwear that shows when they bend over to tie their shoes, while wearing their skinny jeans? By the way, these are not magic jeans, they do not make the wearer magically skinny. But I digress. By now, you get the point!

The media, entertainment industry, fashion industry, and music industry all tell our teens that the less clothing you wear, the more attractive you are. The more people love you. Well, isn't it time that we, as parents, say differently? Perhaps today, you can look at your teen and tell them that they do not have to be naked to be loved. (Of course, if you bought that inappropriate outfit, it could be an awkward conversation!)

Let us first decide that this is not acceptable, and then, let us empower our teens to decide the same.

Photo Courtesy of www.purefashion.com

SPLIT SECOND DECISION

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

What would you do if life felt as if it were no longer worth living? Would you take it upon yourself to end something you never started? That is what I have had to think about over and over again as I think about the families of Kasandra Perkins and Jovan Belcher.

Here at The Re-De-Fined Project, we do not have all the answers to issues and problems of our youth but what we do make a conscious effort to accomplish is a consistent ear and avenue for young men and women to talk to. This tragedy which occurred in Kansas City is another reminder that we need to do any and all we can to have an open line of communication with as many youth as possible.

Maine head football coach Jack Cosgrove stated “I thought he was at his best when he was around young people and when he was on the football field where he displayed a work ethic that I think I would categorize as virtually unmatched.”

With this in mind, suicide is a split second decision and it can happen to anyone reading this. If you have not been impacted by suicide in your family, career, local community or simply a friend of a friend, consider yourself fortunate. Odds are, you have in some way been impacted by this tragic result of things people always consider the unknown. No matter your age, we ask for your help in acknowledging that you are closely tied to someone on the verge of this type of action. Take a stand and talk about it because it is REAL. We can’t stop suicide worldwide but we can start in areas close to us by speaking up and speaking out.

Our prayer at The Re-De-Fined Project is for any and all families who have had to endure through this form of tragedy and pray that no one else has it come to reality in their family.

Remember, money cannot make joy a permanent circumstance. Connect with us here at The Re-De-Fined Project and we can show you ways in which joy will be the center of your life. It will take work as it does not come easy. Join me in taking a stand.

God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us- in the dreariest and most dreaded moments- can see a possibility of hope.
~ Maya Angelou

Pay it forward