THE BULLY, THE BYSTANDER, THE BRAVE, CHOOSE ONE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

You have to choose a role!

In the case of bullying, there is always attention given to the person that is being bullied. In most cases we rarely, if ever, hear of the person that commits the act of bullying, i.e the BULLY. There is another person that is almost certain to be there that is never mentioned...the BYSTANDER. That's right, the BYSTANDER! Are you a BYSTANDER?

According to a University of Washington report on bullying , about 85% of bullying incidents have bystanders. The report by Craig and Pepler, Making a Difference in Bullying, states that bullying usually stops within 5 seconds when there is someone BRAVE enough to intervene. 5 SECONDS!!!
Watching is just as bad as doing the bullying yourself! Don't laugh because someone is being teased. To you it is teasing, to them it might be torture!

Some believe that we should just allow teens to work these things out on their own. The problem with that is often times the solution is final. Teen suicide is on the rise in our country, in case you have not been paying attention. Bullying is a major part of this problem! In addition to being a factor in teen suicide, bullying is also a huge factor in students bringing weapons to school. In fact, bullying affects everything at school, from grades to relationships.


Which role do you choose?

The Bully?

The BYSTANDER?

The BRAVE?

Time is up? What's your choice?

KEYS TO HIGH SCHOOL SUCCESS

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

1. Successful High School Students Are Organized The successful high school student's papers may be all over the place right now, but chances are that they have dated them and put on a heading that will help easily identify the paper when they’re ready to organize. A successful high school student should also have a place where they can keep track of daily assignments, test dates, and other extracurricular activities.
2. Successful High School Students Ask Questions
Questions to clarify assignments...Questions about difficult concepts...Questions about how the material applies to life...Questions about where to get more answers...And more, and more, and more questions. Successful high school students use questions to create an education that is customized to what they need in life.
3. Successful High School Students Have Support
Whether it is a parent, another trusted adult, or a friend that is a phone call away, successful high school students have someone they can turn to when they need help with an assignment or just need someone to talk to about the stresses of school life.
4. Successful High School Students Focus on Learning, Not Grades
At the end of a homework assignment or study session, a highly successful high school student feels that he or she is successful if they understand the material. If the end goal of studying is solely to achieve a good grade the information is less likely to be obtained.
5. Successful High School Students Read Independently
School doesn't teach everything you need to know. The most successful students read additional material, at least 30 minutes a day. Any type of reading works, whether it is a novel for fun, the articles in their favorite magazine, or an online news site.
6. Successful High School Students Are Well-Mannered
Polite people get things done and win allies for the long term in their high school career and in life. From help on homework, to getting a letter of recommendation, to getting a foot in the door for a future career, successful high school students know that their good manners now will have people lining up to help them later on down the road.
7. Successful High School Students Have Fun in School
There's more to school than class, homework, and lunch. The most successful high school students are involved a few extracurricular-activities, including clubs, sports, community service, and student government.

At the end of the day, students who are involved in more than just what is asked of them trend to be more successful. We here at The Re-De-Fined Project encourage our youth to do more and for the adults to require much more. It begins with you.


Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

LAZY WORK ETHIC IN YOUTH ALLOWED BY SOCIETY

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

Teaching your kids work ethics is not a last minute chore. If your kids have reached their Teenage years without having had a single chore in their lives or a single responsibility you have done them a great injustice.

More and more modern parents falsely believe that children should not be burdened with the everyday requirements we all must face. American society is trying to convince us that children would fall apart if we should put any sort of real life pressures on them. Holding our children and teenagers responsible for their own actions, expecting them to work for what they want and teaching them that money does indeed not grow on trees is looked upon as cruel and unusual punishment by some. In certain states, tests have been taken out of schools, since they are afraid that we may stunt the mental growth of some of the less talented students. We wouldn't want to force anyone to think now would we; they may hurt themselves.

Chores, something that were once upon a time a normal thing in a family now seems to be looked upon like a dinosaur, a thing of the past we only marvel at in fear and astonishment by too many youngsters. Parents have taken to "paying" them off with free money to get them out of the house and from under their feet. Excuses like, they will have to work enough when they get older, are not only harmful to a young person's future but are also poor excuses for parents. In case I don't make myself clear with this statement, allow me to phrase it in the following way. Those types of parents would rather hand their children money than to be obligated to spend time with them and actually teach them some life lessons.

How can we, the adults, teach our offspring lessons that are so very important? Simply by giving them chores, jobs and responsibilities. Sit back for a second and think on some of the work you had to perform as a young child and how it helped you become who you are today. If you are a young man or lady who has a great work ethic, I applaud you however, I encourage you to grab another youngster under the age of 18 and tell them to stop expecting everything without work because at some point, the world will no longer be about them. It starts with you!
 

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

"HOWEVER"...A LESSON LEARNED FROM LANCE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

 

It has been a rough couple of weeks for Lance Armstrong. My goal is not to pile on to it. Rather, my desire is to learn from it. So this is about what I learned from Lance. I call it "The lesson of However".

 

Let me begin by saying that I admire the fact that he has overcome. It is a well known fact that the doctors gave him a 50/50 chance of survival from stage 4 testicular cancer. In case you have been living under a rock, he beat it! I am equally appreciative of the fact that LiveStrong has been able to raise over $470 million dollars since 1997, according to their website. You see, my mother is a long time survivor of breast cancer.

If you are awaiting the big but, there is no but. You see, but cancels out everything that came before it, and there is no way that I can cancel out the healing of a man's cancer. there is no way I can cancel out the work that the Livestrong foundation has done. So there is no but!

However...There is an extremely big HOWEVER! (You see, however in the simplest terms means contradiction.) Sorry, you probably knew that. HOWEVER...

“This really is a story bigger than Lance,’’ Scott Mercier, Lance's ex-teammate, said. “It’s bigger than cycling. It really goes to the core of (the fact that) ethics matter, (and) doing things the right way matter. It seems whether it’s business, academics, politics, I think the country is fed up. Hopefully we’re seeing a cultural shift that how you do things is more important than the result.’’ You can read the story here

Is this a novel idea? That way we do things is more important than just the results? Is that the voice of the minority? Aren't we yet at the point where character, ethics, and morals are the most important qualities that we instill into our children?

That's the HOWEVER! Even if an athlete wins the Tour De France seven times, character counts. Even if an athlete is the youngest player to score 20,000 points playing basketball, there is a right way to treat people. Even if a recording artist is named the most successful R&B artist of the last 25 years by Billboard, morals count. Even if you are one of the highest paid "reality stars", how you got there is just as important.

If not, there will always be a HOWEVER next to your name!

Isn't this really the lesson that we should be sharing here? Isn't this what Lance has taught us? I believe that this is what's called a teachable moment!  Tonight grab your children and tell them the cautionary tale of HOWEVER.



PRESIDENTIAL STATE OF MIND

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

As Barack Hussein Obama is sworn in as president today for his second term, I can’t help but to think about the mindset of our youth who do not even know the power of potential that lies within each and every one of them.

I spoke to a young man from a local high school last week and he was comfortable saying he had failed 2 classes in the first semester. I told him that was unacceptable and shared reasons why it was unacceptable. His demeanor became defensive as he questioned why I cared. I told him he has everything inside of him needed to become anything he wanted. I told him he needed to push himself harder and strive for A’s and not simply settling for C’s, D’s, and F’s.

Once we discussed his future plans, family, and dreams he told me no one has ever taken the time to explain the consequences of bad grades in the future. He then started asking me questions about my career and family. I told him he needs to have a “Presidential state of mind.” As long as he could think it, the possibility of it coming true was within reach. He could be president of a company, an organization or of these United States. If we do not think it we will never be able to do it.

For every young person reading this post, I hope you not only watched the inauguration of President Obama, but you saw yourself being sworn into a top position in a field of your desire. It doesn’t start when you get older; it starts right now while you are in school and learning what it means to separate yourself from the rest. You must stand out and do the things now, which no one else in your class and/or school is doing. I dare you to start by looking in the mirror and ask if you are doing ALL you can to be the best.

For all the dysfunction that our country is exhibiting at the moment, Dr. King reminds us that the time is always ripe to do right. We should never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person is at stake.

"Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way." ~ Tavis Smiley

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

PEOPLE PROTECT WHAT THEY VALUE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

Last year in Chicago, 532 people were murdered! 532!!!!!!! This year they are already on pace for well over 700!!!!!!!!!!! There have been 21 homicides in Chicago since the start of 2013. At least 15 of the victims were shot to death, and more than half were under the age of 30. These may not be teens, but they are not far removed.

As we deal with the tragedy of Sandy Hook Elementary, I can not help but think of all of our young people who are dying due to gun violence in our communities. We look at that tragedy and are distraught as a nation because they were so young. In cities like Chicago, 'young people are often targets. In the school year that ended in June 2012, 319 Chicago public school students were shot, 24 of them fatally.' - Washington Post - Where is the outrage over these numbers?

Why have we not been affected by these 532 like we were these 27 in Connecticut? Is it because we have been able to demonize the shooters because of believed and often times real gang affiliations? Is it because we do not want to be reminded of those living in poverty in our own neighborhoods? After all, it is much easier to be fed up with what is happening in Africa than our own backyards.

Here is the point of my outburst. These are our children! They are human beings. They are individuals whose lives carry value. Things that carry value are typically treasured. Even when that thing that carries value is tarnished , we are willing to put in the effort to clean it up in an effort for it to express the true value. Things that carry value are often locked away and protected at all costs. People would often rather die than to give up their valuables.

I highlight Chicago because of the sheer mass numbers, however the problem is not an isolated one. It affects us all. In every community our children are being attacked and taken away. What are we going to do about it?

Protect that which is most valuable to you!

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