FRIENDSHIP IS KEY

By Travis Hardin

An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project




Rehtaeh Parsons



Steubenville Rape Case



 

Friendships between teens and their friends are not always positive. When a teen gets involved with the wrong crowd, he or she is typically easily influenced. Teens may end up doing something they normally would not do. After repeatedly making the wrong choices and hanging out in a negative environment, it may be hard to break the cycle. These types of friendships can have a negative effect on things such as:

• Home life
• Schoolwork
• Grades
• Family relationships
• Attitudes
• Decision-making skills

At The Re-De-Fined Project, we understand how important peer relationships are. We want to be sure we continue to get the concerns and challenges of our youth to those of you reading. Peer relationships are very important to teens. 1) Friendships provide teens with opportunities to develop conflict resolution skills. Teens can learn how to end a fight and still remain friends. 2) Friends provide fun and excitement for teens through companionship and recreation. 3) Friends also give advice to one another. Teens talk through lots of issues and problems with their friends. 4) Loyalty is a valued trait in friendship. Teens are looking for loyal allies that can help them out at school or in their own neighborhood. 5) Friendships also provide stability during times of stress or transition. It is helpful to teens to have a friend who is going through the same situations and can ease the anxieties of the times.

What happens when youth don't have friends? Teens without friends tend to be more lonely and unhappy. They tend to have lower levels of academic achievement and lower self esteem. As they get older, they are more apt to drop out of school and to get involved in delinquent activities.

Friendships change as youth move into their teen years.

• Teens tend to spend more time with their peers.
• They are also more mobile than when younger so more time is spent with peers without parental supervision.
• During the teen years, there will be increased contact with opposite-sex peers.
• In the early teen years, often small groups of friends or cliques are formed which help to boost their confidence and give them a sense of identity.
• Another feature of the teen years is the emergence of crowds. These are large groups of teens who gather together because they have characteristics that identify them with a particular crowd. Teens use crowds to figure out who to associate with. Crowds help teens sort peers into groups of people they would like to spend time with and those they wouldn't. Through crowds and cliques, teens show other people who they are.

 

All in all, the teenage years can be fun and productive. Your involvement in your teen's life will to a large extent determine their future success. And understanding teen friendships and knowing what to expect as your teens become more independent and interdependent with their friends is an important part of the process.

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin