BULLYING EFFECTS & CONSEQUENCES AS A VICTIM

During a recent trip to Tennessee to visit family, I was constantly reminded of how bullying remains in the lives of youth. On my flight back, I talked with a few people on board who shared their negative experiences with bullying. I advised we would continue to voice this challenge as we try to engage all youth in Character Building, Career Development and Community Involvement.

For children/youth that are or have been victimized by bullies, there are usually serious impacts on their lives and development. Negative health consequences of bullying can generally be classified under four categories:

• Low Psychological Well-being

• Poor Social Adjustment

• Psychological Distress

• Physically Ill-health

Such harmful effects can be both short-term as well as long-term:

Short-term Effects

Drop in grades to poor school attendance: Victims of bullying typically start to lose interest in school work, and may even avoid going to school, for fear of being bullied. As they spend an increasing amount of time thinking of ways to evade the trauma, they have less energy left for learning, thus their academic results suffer. That would in turn lead to more pressure and shame.

Loneliness and poor social relationships: Victimization is related to immediate effects such as loneliness, anxiety and a low sense of self-worth too. Besides that, those bullied usually have few friends, and their friendships are often of poor quality.

Physical ill-health: Physical ill-health symptoms can occur as well such as headaches, mouth-sores etc. Such health problems take place as constantly resisting and fearing the bully taxes the mental and physical defenses, causing the body system to break down.

Long-term Effects

Lowered self-esteem and depression: Bullying victims generally suffer from lower self-esteem, and a greater susceptibility to depression in the long run as compared to their non-victimized counterparts. Research has shown that there is “a causal link between peer victimization and low levels of well-being”.

Suicide: Apart from that, there had been several cases of “bullycide”, whereby victims commit suicide because of frequent bullying.

Self-harm: Many victims may choose to suffer in silence, or inflict pain upon themselves.

Revenge leading to violent juvenile behavior: Some victims may strike back in vengeance. The latter may consequently display violent juvenile behavior.

Due to the many damaging consequences of bullying, the victims are often trapped in a vicious cycle of continued victimization. Hence proper measures to prevent and to deal with the issue ought to be implemented. Social support is vital too, for the lack of it can contribute significantly to poor mental health among victims as well.

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

FRIENDSHIP IS KEY

By Travis Hardin

An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project




Rehtaeh Parsons



Steubenville Rape Case



 

Friendships between teens and their friends are not always positive. When a teen gets involved with the wrong crowd, he or she is typically easily influenced. Teens may end up doing something they normally would not do. After repeatedly making the wrong choices and hanging out in a negative environment, it may be hard to break the cycle. These types of friendships can have a negative effect on things such as:

• Home life
• Schoolwork
• Grades
• Family relationships
• Attitudes
• Decision-making skills

At The Re-De-Fined Project, we understand how important peer relationships are. We want to be sure we continue to get the concerns and challenges of our youth to those of you reading. Peer relationships are very important to teens. 1) Friendships provide teens with opportunities to develop conflict resolution skills. Teens can learn how to end a fight and still remain friends. 2) Friends provide fun and excitement for teens through companionship and recreation. 3) Friends also give advice to one another. Teens talk through lots of issues and problems with their friends. 4) Loyalty is a valued trait in friendship. Teens are looking for loyal allies that can help them out at school or in their own neighborhood. 5) Friendships also provide stability during times of stress or transition. It is helpful to teens to have a friend who is going through the same situations and can ease the anxieties of the times.

What happens when youth don't have friends? Teens without friends tend to be more lonely and unhappy. They tend to have lower levels of academic achievement and lower self esteem. As they get older, they are more apt to drop out of school and to get involved in delinquent activities.

Friendships change as youth move into their teen years.

• Teens tend to spend more time with their peers.
• They are also more mobile than when younger so more time is spent with peers without parental supervision.
• During the teen years, there will be increased contact with opposite-sex peers.
• In the early teen years, often small groups of friends or cliques are formed which help to boost their confidence and give them a sense of identity.
• Another feature of the teen years is the emergence of crowds. These are large groups of teens who gather together because they have characteristics that identify them with a particular crowd. Teens use crowds to figure out who to associate with. Crowds help teens sort peers into groups of people they would like to spend time with and those they wouldn't. Through crowds and cliques, teens show other people who they are.

 

All in all, the teenage years can be fun and productive. Your involvement in your teen's life will to a large extent determine their future success. And understanding teen friendships and knowing what to expect as your teens become more independent and interdependent with their friends is an important part of the process.

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

KEYS TO HIGH SCHOOL SUCCESS

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

1. Successful High School Students Are Organized The successful high school student's papers may be all over the place right now, but chances are that they have dated them and put on a heading that will help easily identify the paper when they’re ready to organize. A successful high school student should also have a place where they can keep track of daily assignments, test dates, and other extracurricular activities.
2. Successful High School Students Ask Questions
Questions to clarify assignments...Questions about difficult concepts...Questions about how the material applies to life...Questions about where to get more answers...And more, and more, and more questions. Successful high school students use questions to create an education that is customized to what they need in life.
3. Successful High School Students Have Support
Whether it is a parent, another trusted adult, or a friend that is a phone call away, successful high school students have someone they can turn to when they need help with an assignment or just need someone to talk to about the stresses of school life.
4. Successful High School Students Focus on Learning, Not Grades
At the end of a homework assignment or study session, a highly successful high school student feels that he or she is successful if they understand the material. If the end goal of studying is solely to achieve a good grade the information is less likely to be obtained.
5. Successful High School Students Read Independently
School doesn't teach everything you need to know. The most successful students read additional material, at least 30 minutes a day. Any type of reading works, whether it is a novel for fun, the articles in their favorite magazine, or an online news site.
6. Successful High School Students Are Well-Mannered
Polite people get things done and win allies for the long term in their high school career and in life. From help on homework, to getting a letter of recommendation, to getting a foot in the door for a future career, successful high school students know that their good manners now will have people lining up to help them later on down the road.
7. Successful High School Students Have Fun in School
There's more to school than class, homework, and lunch. The most successful high school students are involved a few extracurricular-activities, including clubs, sports, community service, and student government.

At the end of the day, students who are involved in more than just what is asked of them trend to be more successful. We here at The Re-De-Fined Project encourage our youth to do more and for the adults to require much more. It begins with you.


Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

PEOPLE PROTECT WHAT THEY VALUE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

Last year in Chicago, 532 people were murdered! 532!!!!!!! This year they are already on pace for well over 700!!!!!!!!!!! There have been 21 homicides in Chicago since the start of 2013. At least 15 of the victims were shot to death, and more than half were under the age of 30. These may not be teens, but they are not far removed.

As we deal with the tragedy of Sandy Hook Elementary, I can not help but think of all of our young people who are dying due to gun violence in our communities. We look at that tragedy and are distraught as a nation because they were so young. In cities like Chicago, 'young people are often targets. In the school year that ended in June 2012, 319 Chicago public school students were shot, 24 of them fatally.' - Washington Post - Where is the outrage over these numbers?

Why have we not been affected by these 532 like we were these 27 in Connecticut? Is it because we have been able to demonize the shooters because of believed and often times real gang affiliations? Is it because we do not want to be reminded of those living in poverty in our own neighborhoods? After all, it is much easier to be fed up with what is happening in Africa than our own backyards.

Here is the point of my outburst. These are our children! They are human beings. They are individuals whose lives carry value. Things that carry value are typically treasured. Even when that thing that carries value is tarnished , we are willing to put in the effort to clean it up in an effort for it to express the true value. Things that carry value are often locked away and protected at all costs. People would often rather die than to give up their valuables.

I highlight Chicago because of the sheer mass numbers, however the problem is not an isolated one. It affects us all. In every community our children are being attacked and taken away. What are we going to do about it?

Protect that which is most valuable to you!

photo credit

MUST A GIRL BE NAKED TO BE LOVED?

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

I hope the title was not what sucked you in! You might be disappointed to find that there are no nude photos here. You really did not expect to see any did you?

Anyhow, let's get to what this blog is really about. Modesty! That's right, modesty! Saige Hatch, a California high school student started the Modesty Club recently. A club that encourages teens to dress modestly, have high self esteem, and respect their bodies. In a day and age where I constantly hear about teens dressing provocatively it is refreshing and encouraging to hear about some wanting to cover up. As it turns out, this is not the only club or organization of its kind. The Pure Fashion Mission is a faith-based program that encourages teen girls to live, act, and dress in accordance with their dignity as children of God. There are others, as well. These are just a couple of examples.

Amazingly, some teens are actually rejecting what the media says is appropriate dress for their age. What about us? The parents! What role do we play in all of this? After all, most 13 year old teens do not work, in order to purchase their own clothing. Therefore, it stands to reason that we as parents are the ones buying the clothing with words written across the butt, drawing attention to an area that I as a dad have no desire to have attention drawn to.

Should we as parents support our 15 year old sons wearing only a colored wife beater to the movies, in order to showcase the tattoos that we sign permission for them to get? Should we allow our 14 year old daughters to buy lacy bras that peek out at young men when the extra low cut v-neck t-shirt that are wearing moves around while they are playing dodgeball? Or thong underwear that shows when they bend over to tie their shoes, while wearing their skinny jeans? By the way, these are not magic jeans, they do not make the wearer magically skinny. But I digress. By now, you get the point!

The media, entertainment industry, fashion industry, and music industry all tell our teens that the less clothing you wear, the more attractive you are. The more people love you. Well, isn't it time that we, as parents, say differently? Perhaps today, you can look at your teen and tell them that they do not have to be naked to be loved. (Of course, if you bought that inappropriate outfit, it could be an awkward conversation!)

Let us first decide that this is not acceptable, and then, let us empower our teens to decide the same.

Photo Courtesy of www.purefashion.com

3 KEYS TO LEADERSHIP

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

One of the joys of being a Communication Consultant and Team Member Network Co Chair is that I sit on executive leadership teams. This mostly means that I spend a large amount of my time in meetings trying to effectively move business and others forward. But it also means that many of those meetings are led by leaders and mentors of our community!
Recently, one of the leaders shared what they consider to be the 3 most important skills of a leader. I don’t think I’ve ever heard them talk about this before, and I don’t think it is written down anywhere. And, I’m sure I’ll shortchange some of their brilliance by trying to pass it along…but it was so good, I have to try:

- The ability to clearly articulate the present reality
- The ability to visualize the future

- The ability to be self-aware

It was the TEAM’s opinion that the easiest skill of these three is the ability to visualize the future. Anybody can have a vision of the future! You really don’t have to be a leader to visualize the future, but you can’t be a leader if you don’t.

It was the TEAM’s opinion that the toughest skill is the ability for a leader to be self-aware. Because leaders are good at a few things, they assume they are good at everything. Many leaders often lack the ability to recognize where they actually get in the way, causing bottlenecks to progress and productivity from fruitfully occurring.

Questions for you to ponder:

- What is the CURRENT reality of your leadership/mentor ability? What are your strengths, weaknesses, barriers to growth, perception amongst teens and adults? Is it a safe place for students? How healthy is your volunteerism? Do YOU believe in YOU?

- What’s your vision for the future? Have you dreamed any big dreams lately? Have you had a “God Idea” recently (an idea so big that only God could make it happen)?

- When is the last time you looked in the mirror? What are your weaknesses as a leader? What do you insist on holding onto that may actually be holding your ability to be an effective leader at a standstill? Have you truly tried to identify some of your blind spots?

I challenge you to consider these 3 keys and ask yourself, “Am I really being effective in the life of a young person?” If you are honest with yourself, your answer just may be NO. Let’s work together and make sure we pass these keys onto our youth. They will thank you later.

The thing that lies at the foundation of positive change, the way I see it, is service to a fellow human being. – Lee Iacocca

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

TERRIBLE ROLE MODELS...WHAT WE'VE TAUGHT OUR YOUTH

By Jody McPhearson

An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

 



Over the last few month's I have spoken with young adults who would be voting for the very first time in their lives in this past election. I must admit, many were not excited. I asked why and begin to get typical 18 year old answers such as, "I don't really know any of these people", "My vote won't matter", and my favorite, "Who cares?".
I began to wonder if what were the underlying reasons. I would continue to speak to these young people, pressing upon them the importance of voting. I also began to really focus on the election, listening to the candidates, watching campaign commercials, and listening to many very opinionated supporters.
I began to realize that these young people felt negatively about voting because of the way we behave. We are worst than over enthusiastic, drunken, belligerent sports fans cheering for our team versus our archenemies. We not only support "our" candidate, we root for death, (in many cases literally death), of the opponent. Is this how to engage young people in politics?
If that were not bad enough, after the election is over, just like in sports, we start in with all of the excuses as to why our team lost, then we blame others, then we began to tear down the other team, and belittle their victory. The biggest difference between the sports fan and the political supporter is that the sports fan eventually moves on to the next game or the next team whilst the political supporter began to spew hateful language and set traps and roadblocks to ensure failure of the opposed candidate. This is the most asinine action that I can think of! If the leader of our country fails, we all fail! If our candidate had the answers and lost, if our candidate is the man/woman that we believed in, one with integrity, honor, and a desire to get our country back on track, I would expect to see such candidate sitting at the table and helping to create and implement solutions. That means that he/she will not function like John McCain and Sarah Palin and continue to spew venom and attempt to undermine the presidential office.
I never intended for this blog to be a rant, however, I am disgusted with the behavior of many of my fellow Americans both pre and post election. And so are our young people!

STOP BEING SUCH A TERRIBLE ROLE MODEL!

Photo Courtesy of MileyCyrus.com

FUNDAMENTALLY SOUND

By Travis Hardin
An Inspirational Speaker @ The Re-De-Fined Project

Too often we as adults focus on obtaining a desired result and expect our youth to win or overcome.  We end up getting disappointed because they cannot deliver or make the simple decisions that are required to be competitive on the field of life. Our attention is on the end result, rather than on preparing our youth to execute during their performances. Execution starts on the practice field and only after numerous hours of proper practice and hard work will it be carried on to real life situations. 

One of the common denominators upon successful performers or athletes is 10,000 hours of practice (perfect practice). Thus, to be successful at anything, it requires hard work, dedication, determination and discipline.  
On the same token, we expect our youth to hit singles, doubles, triples, or even homeruns when facing the challenges of life. Instead of focusing on the end result, we should teach our youth to focus on executing a perfect swing and fielding a ground ball, catching a fly ball, or delivering a pitch fundamentally correct. Youth need to understand that there are things that he/she cannot control, like getting a hit. A baseball player has no control on what happens after he executes on his swing and hits a line drive. The other team might make a great play and make the out, but the important thing is that the player executed correctly and not that he did not get a hit. As it is in life, we need to encourage youth even when they fail at something after putting in the hard work to complete the task.

I have seen many instances where a player hits a hard line drive and somehow gets put out. Then goes back to the dugout with his head down or even sometimes takes his helmet off and throws it on the ground. This is mainly as a result of coaches or parents expecting their kids to get a hit, rather than expecting them to hit the ball with proper form.  Help the players focus on execution rather than results, on what they can control rather than what they cannot control.  Praise them for hitting the ball, not just when they get a hit.

Winning is a result of hard work, dedication, determination and discipline. Focus on the latter four and winning will take care of itself. This is why I don’t like to talk about winning during speeches or instructional work. We focus on what we have control of; like working hard, getting our perfect repetitions and developing mental toughness.

As I sat and watched game 3 of the World Series between the San Francisco Giants and Detroit Tigers, I could not help but to wrap this latest message into baseball terminology. The hits in the game of baseball are just like the everyday successes our youth see but are not given recognition for. We only celebrate them when it is a large accomplishment (home run). Let’s get back to basics by teaching and coaching morals and values. No matter what the score is in life, if our youth are given the proper strategies during the critical learning phase, ages 10 – 18, we will minimize their thirst to want to follow the “In Crowd.” We have all been there where we see something that really isn’t there. Love at 16 felt like it was going to be marriage and life happily ever after. Only to mature and learn that we didn’t know what love was until we endured hurts, pains, ups and downs. Just like the last out of every World Series recorded in history, win or lose, spring training will return in March. Help us to keep the basics of morals and values in our youth. Celebrate them for the work and efforts they are putting into their service. Life is not always about winning. Some of my losses have been much more valuable than the wins. I am sure you can go back in your past and think of some things or people you drifted apart from which felt like a tremendous loss at the time, only to mature and learn, you would not be where you are had you stuck around that negative thing or person. Let’s embrace the fundamentals.

What I learned from Derrick Rose

By Jody McPhearson

An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

 

                             



For those of you who have no idea who Derrick Rose is, he is best known by his job. He is the starting point guard for the Chicago Bulls. In fact he is a bona fide NBA superstar. But that is not who he is.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Well, Derrick Rose has shown himself to be a pretty quiet and private individual. He does not really enjoy the spotlight.

Here is a lesson learned from my mother. Adversity will reveal who a person truly is.

This past year, Derrick Rose has had to undergo a great deal of adversity during the season with nagging injuries to himself and teammates.  But that was just the beginning of his adversity. He had a season ending and career threatening injury. All in the public spotlight!

Now that brings us to the point of it all. Derrick Rose has taught and is teaching me many things while I am watching and reading about him.

During his first meeting with Adidas, his shoe sponsor, the executives from Adidas asked him what he wanted to accomplish his rookie year. Do you know what he said? He said, "I Wanna make My Mom Happy and My City Proud."  What if more professional athletes lived with this focus? What if celebrities had this in mind as they made choices? What if this was the mantra of more teens?

Maybe we can't do anything about professional athletes or celebrities, but we sure can do something about teens!

I learned from just that quote that Derrick Rose loves his mother, and his City! Chicago is a city that saw a record numbers of murders this past summer. It is also a city that had an ugly teacher's strike this summer. He loves a flawed city!
 

So, there is another lesson learned from Derrick Rose. It is okay to love someplace and someone that is not perfect. That kind of love will motivate you to help it or them get better.

Let me share with you what sparked this post. I read an ESPN article about Derrick Rose that poised this question. What can one man do about deep-seated social ills like poverty and violence? Read it here

 

If I have learned anything from Derrick Rose this summer, it is this. One man/woman/teen can do a lot! Especially if that person is willing to share their story of overcoming and persevering. I have learned that Derrick Rose has become a symbol of hope for his mother, his family, his friends, thousands of teens, and his entire community.

This summer, four groups of rival gangs, church leaders and a few NBA players got together for a game of basketball in an attempt to find a solution to the violence in the city. Derrick Rose came together with St. Sabina’s Father Michael Pfleger for the “Balling for Peace” tournament. After the tournament, every player got a job. St. Sabina partnered with businesses in the community to make sure that players were rewarded with employment for their peace pledge. Gang members traded their guns for basketballs. Some gang members were quoted as saying, “Opportunity and seeing that someone cares” are what’s needed to make a change.

I have learned that Derrick Rose is not afraid to show just how much he cares.

When presented with his new Adidas basketball shoe and the chance to talk about how special he legitimately is, Derrick Rose chose to show real human emotion and thank God and his family and the people who believe in him for their support and inspiration.
 

I have learned that Derrick Rose has an astounding work ethic, that he is humble beyond belief,(especially for a generation that most label as selfish and self-centered), and that he is fully aware that there is more to it all than just worrying about Derrick.

I know that I am usually speaking about teens, and the example that I am using is NBA superstar, Derrick Rose, but let's not forget, Derrick is only 24! He was, not so longer ago, just a teen from the very city that he now inspires. All because there were those adults, friends, and siblings who were invested in his life, that gave him hope.

Derrick thanks for the lessons! May we each take it upon ourselves to be the hope for our mothers, family, friends, teens, and our community!
 

                                    

 

 

 



DO YOU KNOW THE LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A CHILD PROSTITUTE?

By Jody McPhearson

Telling Teens They Matter

 

Look at me now, look at me now      I'm getting traded
Look at me now, Look at me now     every day I have to fake it
Look at me now, Look at me now     I am a sex slave
Look at me now, Look at me now     I long for an early grave
Look at me now, Look at me now     can anyone see my face
Look at me now, Look at me now     my memory is being erased
Look at me now, Look at me now     I’m having trouble sleeping
Look at me now, Look at me now     I can always hear them creeping
Look at me now, Look at me now     I’m trapped with nowhere to run
Look at me now, Look at me now     my homecoming days are done
Look at me now, Look at me now     why can’t you hear my screams
Look at me now, Look at me now     do you not know I had dreams
Look at me now, Look at me now     because you’re so appalled by slavery
Look at me now, Look at me now     it’s ironic that you won’t even look at me

Authorities conservatively estimate there are at least 250,000 teen sex-trafficking victims in the U.S. at any one time.

"Victims of human trafficking pay a horrible price. Psychological and physical harm, including disease and stunted growth, often have permanent effects. In many cases the exploitation of trafficking victims is progressive: a child trafficked into one form of labor may be further abused in another. It is a brutal reality of the modern-day slave trade that its victims are frequently bought and sold many times over-often sold initially by family members" (Trafficking in Persons Report, U.S. Department of State, 2006).

By the way, here is the answer to the original question:

LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A CHILD PROSTITUTE .....7 YEARS

“GIVING” Begins at a young age

I was recently asked by a coworker, why I give to my community as often as I do. I thought about it for a brief moment and responded with “My today is a result of GIVING when I was younger.” I saw my father give of his time when I was young and it always had a huge impact in the lives of those he helped. The key is, teaching our youth to give when they are young.

It can be tough to teach children the value of giving in a society when they're surrounded by messages about the value of getting. Here are five ways to start:

Start small when the kids are small.

Youth might be happy to help bake cookies for a friend but end up wanting to keep the gift themselves. An exercise for a young person would be baking enough cookies to keep and enough cookies to give. Young children need help in learning to share.

Teach your child that he doesn't need money to give.

Help your child make gift certificates good for "one free car wash" or "breakfast in bed" that he can give to a family member.

Involve your child in selecting the gift.

You may think that donating to cancer research is important, but your child who is an animal lover may be more interested in making sure the dogs at the humane society have an extra treat at the holidays. Help them find a way to give the gift they feel is important.

Be a role model.

Volunteer your family's time at a soup kitchen or senior center. Gather small-size toiletries, such as toothpaste and shampoo, and pack them in gift bags to take to a homeless shelter. Ask your child if they'll help you baby-sit for a neighbor's toddler so the neighbor can do some shopping or stop and help you bring groceries in for an elderly person who has returned home from the grocery store.

Personalize giving.

It's faster for busy parents to write a check to a charity, but it has little impact on a child who can't see where the money is going or imagine the people who benefit. Delivering canned goods to a food bank is more meaningful than dropping a check in the mail. Your family could "adopt" a needy family through a community organization, choose the gifts and wrap them.

Feeling too busy to organize an activity like this? Author Ellen Sabin has suggestions that can work for the most time-challenged parents. Sabin wrote The Giving Book: Open the Door to a Lifetime of Giving, an interactive workbook to help 6- to 11-year-olds discover the joy of giving and their power to make a difference. Sabin also offers free tools and guides for parents, teachers and religious educators to use with her book.

Sabin suggests having a family conversation about what you're thankful for. That will help your child realize that what she values may be missing in other people's lives.

Sabin also offers three activities to try. "These things don't take huge amounts of time. They just take a few moments of thoughtfulness."

• Start a tradition in which family members set aside one of their gifts to give to someone less fortunate.


• Think of someone without a family - a soldier, a distant relative, a friend in the hospital - and write a letter as a family to make the person feel loved and included during the holidays.


• Talk about beginning the New Year with a family giving box. Everyone can regularly add a small amount of money to the box to contribute to a group or cause the family agrees to support.

Giving gives children a sense of self-esteem and pride, says Sabin. "Giving is addictive. It gets in your blood. It makes you realize that you and your actions matter." I challenge you to GIVE today.

 

Travis Hardin,

Hire Travis to speak

Pay it forward

Unconditional Movie

A Call To Action

By: Jody McPhearson

I wanted to personally let you know that The Re-De-Fined Project has entered into a national partnership with the filmmakers of the movie Unconditional. Unconditional is an inspiring movie that raises awareness of ministry with “at risk” youth and moves its viewers to action in their community. Unconditional is a tool that can highlight the work of The Re-De-Fined Project and engage new funding and resources in our community.

MOVIE SYNOPSIS: Samantha Crawford (Lynn Collins - X-Men Wolverine & John Carter), an acclaimed children's book author, went from a woman of faith to a woman in despair when her husband was killed in a senseless act of violence. With no leads and no hope, Sam's moments from taking her own life when God's providence intervenes, uniting her with an old childhood friend, Joe Bradford (Michael Ealy - Barbershop & Think Like A Man).

Dying of kidney disease, Joe spends his last days serving fatherless children in an under-resourced community. Observing "Papa Joe's" tireless love for his "kids", Sam begins to find new purpose, but has difficulty letting go. The innocence of a child competes with the lure of revenge and answers. When Sam finally learns about her husband's last moments her life and others are never the same.

CALL TO ACTION:
UNCONDITIONAL is the first feature film from Harbinger Media Partners, which creates and produces high-quality theatrical films to inspire moviegoers to pursue God and serve others.

Partnering with scores of ministries and non-profit organizations around the country like the one run by the real-life Papa Joe Bradford, UNCONDITIONAL is encouraging people to ACT on the needs in their communities. Learn more about ACT. http://unconditionalthemovie.com/act

Unconditional inspires its viewers and calls them to action in their community by partnering with local organizations such as The Re-De-Fined Project. We are currently the only national partner in the state of Arizona.

The filmmaker’s motivation for making this movie was to motivate people to ACT! Their strategy is to partner with local ministries who will facilitate their viewers in giving, volunteering, and partnering.

HOW YOU CAN SPREAD THE WORD:

As a national partner, the movie will advocate for The Re-De-Fined Project cause and connect Unconditional viewers with our work.

We invite you to help spread the word about Unconditional in your community by sharing this message to as many people as you know and inviting them to visit the website http://www.unconditionalthemovie.com and to follow Unconditional on Facebook, Twitter, and share the trailer.

Jody McPhearson
Founder/President
The Re-De-Fined Project
Hire Jody McPhearson to speak to your organization, school, or group.
http://www.unconditionalthemovie.com/act_orgpage.php?id=96

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOVIE AND SEE A TRAILER CLICK HERE
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOVIE'S CALL TO ACTION CLICK HERE

YOLO - MAKE IT A LIFE THAT MATTERS

By Jody McPhearson

"Teaching Teens Their Lifes Matter'

 

 

Thursday, this was the headline that caught my attention. "Ervin McKinness, Aspiring Rapper, Tweets 'YOLO' About Driving Drunk And Dies Minutes Later!" Is this really YOLO?

There is no doubt that “YOLO” (You Only Live Once), from the song "Motto", has grown to be the coolest new thing for young people to say this year. The new saying has been used to describe everyday life, and has gone as far as being tattooed on celebrities! Let me tell you something...It's only cool if you are doing something cool with your life! And just so there is no confusion, by cool, I mean purposeful.

YOLO, or "You Only Live Once," is sort of a teen interpretation of "Carpe Diem". You know, "Seize the Day!" The problem is that the interpretation does not resemble anything close to seizing the day. It appears to be more about seizing the moment, in a way that relieves the person of all responsibility. It has become an excuse for irresponsible, immoral, reprehensible, and even sinful behavior.

That's not YOLO! YOLO is making a difference in someone's life. Yolo is making a decision to move away to follow your dreams of being an engineer by enrolling at a university across the country. YOLO is committing to a year abroad as a missionary to have an impact on the lives of people who can not help themselves. Yolo is volunteering right here in your own community to teach teens they matter.

This is YOLO! Being a teen and giving up a Saturday morning to help others.

You Only Live Once! Make It A Life That matters!
If you are interested in having Jody speak at an event please inquire here

A PLAY DESIGNED FOR SUCCESS

Did your favorite NFL or college team win over this past weekend? Here at The Re-De-Fined Project, we are still undefeated (1-0) as the Dallas Cowboys and Chicago Bears won their opening games.

More importantly, it’s the work put in while no one is watching that helps teams remain good year after year. Regardless if your team is winning or losing, the hard work and dedication of the organization has to reflect a supportive base.

As it is in sports, it is behind the scenes where our young people gain the upper hand on the rest of the competition. Those nights when school, home or work is so challenging, they are ready to give up. It will always take discipline, hard work and dedication for our young people to rise to the top. What is more critical than their determination is the supportive base of the COMMUNITY.

We as the supportive base, COMMUNITY, have to learn to be more unconventional with our approach. If a team runs the same play 55 times a game, they will never win because the defense will always know what is coming. This is true with our kids and with our young people. Changing the setting or routine can shift the balance and have the desired effect. Many parents report that while riding in the car their teens open up and talk more. It also helps to intentionally ask questions and show that you care about what they have to say.

Set up a conversation with comments like, "Growing up can be hard, and I've been wondering how it's going for you"; or "I realize you are at a point in life where your friends can really influence the choices you make." Another is "I want you to know that I will always be here to support you."

-Here are some suggestions for questions to discuss together:

-What's been easiest for you this year?

-What's been the hardest thing so far?

-What's a decision you made that was wise?

-What's a decision that you regret?

-How have you handled it when other kids wanted to do something you knew wasn't a good choice?

-How have you made your decisions?

-What's something you could do if a friend offers you drugs or alcohol?

-What could you do if you are curious about some of the things your friends do, but you know they are probably not so smart?

-Have you faced any situations that made you feel really uncomfortable? How did you handle it?

Raising kids can and will be difficult with last minute adjustments and challenges that at times will seem insurmountable. The road to success can become more manageable with a few basic steps. By showing support, asking thoughtful questions, listening with care and staying involved, parents and COMMUNITY can help our youth win in more phases of life. I dare you to run the above mentioned designed play. Watch the response from our hungry youth. It will be much appreciated.

Travis Hardin

Pay it Forward

Hire Travis Hardin to speak