BULLYING EFFECTS & CONSEQUENCES AS A VICTIM

During a recent trip to Tennessee to visit family, I was constantly reminded of how bullying remains in the lives of youth. On my flight back, I talked with a few people on board who shared their negative experiences with bullying. I advised we would continue to voice this challenge as we try to engage all youth in Character Building, Career Development and Community Involvement.

For children/youth that are or have been victimized by bullies, there are usually serious impacts on their lives and development. Negative health consequences of bullying can generally be classified under four categories:

• Low Psychological Well-being

• Poor Social Adjustment

• Psychological Distress

• Physically Ill-health

Such harmful effects can be both short-term as well as long-term:

Short-term Effects

Drop in grades to poor school attendance: Victims of bullying typically start to lose interest in school work, and may even avoid going to school, for fear of being bullied. As they spend an increasing amount of time thinking of ways to evade the trauma, they have less energy left for learning, thus their academic results suffer. That would in turn lead to more pressure and shame.

Loneliness and poor social relationships: Victimization is related to immediate effects such as loneliness, anxiety and a low sense of self-worth too. Besides that, those bullied usually have few friends, and their friendships are often of poor quality.

Physical ill-health: Physical ill-health symptoms can occur as well such as headaches, mouth-sores etc. Such health problems take place as constantly resisting and fearing the bully taxes the mental and physical defenses, causing the body system to break down.

Long-term Effects

Lowered self-esteem and depression: Bullying victims generally suffer from lower self-esteem, and a greater susceptibility to depression in the long run as compared to their non-victimized counterparts. Research has shown that there is “a causal link between peer victimization and low levels of well-being”.

Suicide: Apart from that, there had been several cases of “bullycide”, whereby victims commit suicide because of frequent bullying.

Self-harm: Many victims may choose to suffer in silence, or inflict pain upon themselves.

Revenge leading to violent juvenile behavior: Some victims may strike back in vengeance. The latter may consequently display violent juvenile behavior.

Due to the many damaging consequences of bullying, the victims are often trapped in a vicious cycle of continued victimization. Hence proper measures to prevent and to deal with the issue ought to be implemented. Social support is vital too, for the lack of it can contribute significantly to poor mental health among victims as well.

Pay it forward

Travis Hardin

THE BULLY, THE BYSTANDER, THE BRAVE, CHOOSE ONE

By Jody McPhearson
An Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

You have to choose a role!

In the case of bullying, there is always attention given to the person that is being bullied. In most cases we rarely, if ever, hear of the person that commits the act of bullying, i.e the BULLY. There is another person that is almost certain to be there that is never mentioned...the BYSTANDER. That's right, the BYSTANDER! Are you a BYSTANDER?

According to a University of Washington report on bullying , about 85% of bullying incidents have bystanders. The report by Craig and Pepler, Making a Difference in Bullying, states that bullying usually stops within 5 seconds when there is someone BRAVE enough to intervene. 5 SECONDS!!!
Watching is just as bad as doing the bullying yourself! Don't laugh because someone is being teased. To you it is teasing, to them it might be torture!

Some believe that we should just allow teens to work these things out on their own. The problem with that is often times the solution is final. Teen suicide is on the rise in our country, in case you have not been paying attention. Bullying is a major part of this problem! In addition to being a factor in teen suicide, bullying is also a huge factor in students bringing weapons to school. In fact, bullying affects everything at school, from grades to relationships.


Which role do you choose?

The Bully?

The BYSTANDER?

The BRAVE?

Time is up? What's your choice?

THE BULLIES WHO LOST

                                      
By Travis Hardin
Inspirational Speaker at The Re-De-Fined Project

                                       
 

No matter how (un)popular you were in high school, Whitney Kropp’s story hits home.

Imagine this: she’s sitting in math class as the homecoming court is announced over the PA system. She’s surprised – and thrilled - when she hears her name in the homecoming line up.

"She's just sweet. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body," Whitney’s mom, Bernice Kropp, told The Detroit News (as reported in a wonderful article, “Town turns tables on school prank”).

But the surprise quickly turned into a nightmare: it turns out that Whitney was picked as a joke. The 16-year-old found out, via Facebook and word of mouth, that “popular” kids put her name in the running as a prank. Hysterical: an unpopular girl in the homecoming court! Right?

Wrong. But what makes this act of bullying different is that it wasn’t hushed up or ignored. Covering up incidents of bullying ostensibly protects the victim, but it can also send the message that the bullying target is somehow at fault; it also lets the bullies off the hook. But that’s not what happened in this case. Instead, Whitney’s sister told her friends, who told their parents, who told their friends, The Detroit News reported.

Word spread and people rallied around Whitney in support. Someone created a Facebook page in support of Whitney, and it has more likes than the rural Michigan town has residents. Local businesses rallied around the teen, donating her dress, shoes, jewelry, hair styling and makeup. The 16-year-old was escorted by her father and grandfather to the field, where she confidently took her place in the Ogemaw Heights High School homecoming court. Students on the opposing team cheered Kropp on with banners.

The overwhelming support is heartwarming, and the outright rejection of 1980s John Hughes-esque high school meanness is inspiring. I love how this town has turned the tables on these small-minded bullies; this kind of community support is what could finally put an end to bullying once and for all.

Do you think this could happen in your city? In order to assist against bullying efforts in your city, speak up and encourage ALL youth. It doesn’t hurt to share your stories from when you were a teenager. The time is now to be Honest, Open and Transparent.

Pay it forward

Why are you sticking up for Gabby Douglas?

Gabrielle Union, Rebecca Sive, Jason Whitlock, Dominique Dawes, and about half of the twitterverse.  That is a shortlist of those defending Gabby Douglas. But why?

First, let's look at what are they defending her about. Social-media sites and other platforms have begun to criticize a 16 year old, who represented our country at the Olympic Games and has won two gold medals to date. The reason, of all things, is the upkeep of her hair. That's right, I said, her hair!

Really? Why would you bully a 16 year old? What did your hair look like at sixteen? What record setting accomplishments had you achieved at sixteen?

That's me at seventeen. I challenge you to go to our Facebook page and post a photo of you and your hair at 1sixteen.  Put Gabby in the comment section. The Re-DeFined Project

All of this is confusing to me. Apparently it is to Gabby as well ."I don't know where this is coming from. What's wrong with my hair?" said Gabby http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/05/gabby-douglas-hair-olympics-2012_n_1743897.html?utm_hp_ref=style

People need to find something else to criticize,’’ Damone Roberts says. “She’s a teenager who, God forbid, spends more time on her craft than she does her hair.  http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/08/02/gabby-douglas-takes-two-olympic-golds-and-hair-criticism.html

I cannot explain why this is a topic of discussion. Perhaps it is an example of crab mentality, or maybe it is self hatred. Or, just maybe it is a glaring, revealing insight into our value system. Have we taught our young people to value appearances over accomplishments, perms over personality, becoming popular over becoming purposeful?
  

Did you know that the odds of winning an Olympic gold medal are said to be approximately 22,000,000 to 1? Women's gymnastics all-around champion Gabby Douglas has won 2! I do not believe that it is a happenstance that if you rearrange Gabby's last name Douglas it reads USA Gold!

Gabby is doing what she was purposed to do! She is an Olympic champion, Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, and Inspiring Hope in millions. We salute you Gabrielle Douglas! Fulfilling purpose is not easy work that begins in six-inch heels, a perfectly tailored suit and makeup.Purpose  requires hard work, sweat, and many unglamorous moments. The Olympics are not reality television where one can freshen up for every camera take. It is real life played out in front of us.

Let us be encouraging to young people who are willing to "Go Hard In The Paint" to achieve their goals. Let us lift them up rather than tear them down. Let us be above these types of petty discussions that attempt to tarnish the accomplishments of young people. Let us stick up for every Gabby Douglas out there!

For those who insist on continuing this meaningless, frivolous fixation on an extraordinary, Olympic gold medalist's hair, this video should help to cure that.

I am not my hair.
https://www.facebook.com/theredefinedproject?ref=hl

Jody McPhearson
Impacting Communities, Encouraging Leaders, Inspiring Hope
Do you need a speaker for your event?

Don't Be A Such A Coward

Coward: A person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.; a timid or easily intimidated person.
How do we expect students to be courageous when they see us act like cowards? Why would they stand up to bullies when we don't? Why should they care if their classmates are hungry, or homeless, or depressed, when we don't?

If we tell them that winning is more important than reporting the abuse of a child how do we expect them to behave? If they only see us not wanting to get involved, they won't get involved either.

You say that wasn't you. You never acted like a coward. You never did these things. 

What about the time you saw that student wearing the same clothing for three days and did nothing to stop the teasing. You never even asked if everything was alright. And let's not forget the time when you overheard the young people "jonesing" on the little "nerd" and you laughed along with them.


When we allow others or even ourselves to be pushed around, abused, mistreated, we are telling the next generation that it is okay. It's alright to lack courage. Change takes courage! If we are unhappy with our world, our community, then we must have the courage to change it. If we exhibit courage, then so will they.

Courage is the ability to do something that frightens oneself.  It is acting on one’s beliefs despite danger or disapproval.Courage originates from the word heart. Love comes from the heart! So it is safe to say that courage takes love. Love for others. That is a message worth sharing. Tell others, tell students.

Don't Be A Coward!

Jody McPhearson

Impacting Communities, Encouraging leaders, Inspiring Hope

http://theredefinedproject.org/speakers/jody_mcphearson.php

We've Got Your Back

The federal government estimates that 2 out of 10 high school students experience bullying each year, and the problem is typically worse for middle school students.

If you are a victim of bullying, you’re not alone. Obviously others are victims of bullying. That's not what we are saying here. What we are saying is that We've Got Your Back.

We want you to know that we are willing to stand with you. We will not laugh and point with the bully. We will not look the other way. We will be there to hear you when you ask for help. We will be get teacher's and parents involved.

You are not alone. We've Got Your back. We are a community, and a community listens to and addresses the needs of those in the community.

We know that having to endure bullying usually affects your self-esteem and your ability to learn and be successful at school.You may lose sleep or feel sick. You may want to skip school. You may even be thinking about suicide. You have a purpose and we want you to fufill that purpose.

We've Got Your Back.

Will you join us and help prevent our future leaders from being bullied?  If so, simply respond with We've Got Your Back.

Then, make a commitment not to support bullying in any way. Do not harass, tease, or spread negative gossip about others. Respect others, value differences and try to broaden your social circle to include others who are different from you.

Jody McPhearson
CEO/President
Impacting Communities, Encouraging leaders, Inspiring Hope

Community, What Community?

If we asked a thousand people what community was to them, we would probably get a thousand different responses. The common descriptor would probably be the word belong. People have a desire to belong. Especially teens! Teens want desperately to belong. They want to feel as if they are a part of something. That they are not in this world alone.

Isn't that what we all want? To belong to a community? Where we truly listened to one another and we attempted to understand each other's needs?

And just what would happen if that were the case? Would there be less teens being bullied? Would fewer young people attempt suicide? Could it be possible that we would witness fewer dropouts who fell through the cracks? What would happen?

I, for one, need to know. I need to know what would happen if we created a community that cared for each other. A community that heard one another. A community that encouraged and inspired one another. 

I had a vision of a community such as this, where all young people knew their purpose and their worth. A community where they never were left alone to fend for themselves. A place where they could share their dreams and fears freely.

I couldn't find a community on a map, so I decided to create one. Welcome to my community!

Jody McPhearson